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I emptied the bottle into my glass, staring at the pale yellow wine in front of me. It was okay for me to let loose occasionally. It had to be. I couldn’t and wouldn’t be doing this forever. I’d have a life eventually, even if Mom miraculously made it to her nineties. I could find a little cottage in the woods, adopt a bunch of cats. Or stay in the city and yell at kids to get off my lawn. I could drink all the wine I wanted, even if it wasn’t great for my skin.
But for now I had things to do. People to look after. Problems to solve. A man to get out of my life as soon as possible.
I stared at my phone in my hand, Facebook open, a photo of Wade and a ski bunny I’d learned was named Melissa filling my screen. Asshole.
I downed the rest of my wine, the rage and irritation from earlier bubbling back up after the alcohol had dampened it. Now it only fed the flames, whispering to me to tell him what a dick he was, to give him a piece of my mind and leave him and his stupid ski resort behind. My advance would suffice until I found another job.
I opened up a job search app, putting in my credentials clumsily with my left hand as I sipped with my right. Job after job showed up. Salaries weren’t great, but they existed. I could aim lower. Figure it out.
I was capable. I was strong. I could totally do that.
Or maybe it was the alcohol talking.
Either way it didn’t stop me from opening up my work email account, didn’t stop me from drafting an email and plugging Wade’s email address in. It didn’t stop me from writing out how much of an asshole he was through my slightly blurred vision, didn’t stop me from calling out his entitlement from the amount of money he had. By the time I’d finished typing and drained my glass, it was three paragraphs long, and the words were a little too jumbled for me to read back. It didn’t matter. I was getting my point across one way or another.
What is it missing? I hummed quietly to myself as I watched Friends, thinking absentmindedly about what Rachel would do in my position.
I looked back down at my draft and decided to add eleven words to the very bottom of the page.
Consider this my letter of resignation, effective immediately.
Never yours,
Ray
My stomach churned as I stared at it. Those words felt like too much and nothing all at once, blurring into the darkness of my mind. I was tired. So tired. I’d worked out too hard. I’d been fucked over. I’d made Mom tomato soup for the third time in three days. I’d waited until it cooled.
I sucked in a sharp breath as my mouse pointer collided with the send button.
Chapter 12
Wade
After wiping my damp hands on my jeans, I hoisted myself into the seat and buckled myself in. Normally when I helicoptered to the resort, I had someone by my side, someone attractive enough to keep me distracted from the death trap that spun and lifted the thing off the ground. Once or twice I’d even managed to get so far past the fear that I’d traumatized my pilots, the minor fear of falling from the doorless one I kept stationed during the winter didn’t even phase me when I had my cock buried in someone warm and needy.
But I didn’t have someone warm and needy this time. I’d told Ray to cancel all of my private plans and in the process, left myself aggravatingly horny and lonely. I wasn’t used to being without a ski bunny. Deep down, I knew that wasn’t a good thing, but if I wasn’t going to have anyone to distract me on the twenty-minute flight, I could at least use my imagination.
As we lifted off the ground, my mind found a little pathway between my favorites: Dani, Erica, Samantha, Leanne, Lucy, Taylor, Rebecca, Inez, Ray, Augustine…. Rewind. Ray is not a bunny. She’d certainly made that clear as day in front of a small crowd of people, being the mouthy little thing that she is. I’d bribed my way into the clientele list present that day so I could ensure none of them had any media connections. Didn’t need that making the papers.
She shouldn’t have even crossed my mind. She definitely shouldn’t have been at the forefront as we crested the edge of Rocky Mountain National Park. My cock shouldn’t have twitched at just the idea of her being there with me, but I’ll blame that on my growing insatiable need.
Even though I could lie to myself about nearly everything when it came to Ray, I couldn’t deny that a part of me was sad that she was so put off by my proposition. I could pretend it was because she was the perfect candidate, or because she would have made an excellent decoy to fool my soon-to-be brother-in-law’s parents. But it still hurt all the same.
Maybe I was too used to getting what I wanted. Or maybe Jack’s words the other day held some truth to them. Either way, I could drown it out with the slopes and a glass of scotch.
————
I was up before the sun the next morning.
Saturdays at the resort were always busy, even during the off-season. With only a handful of weeks left, people were flocking to the resort in droves, and although that was good for my wallet, it was annoying at best when I actually wanted to hit the slopes. My only hope at a quiet run meant getting up at the ass crack of dawn.
I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I tucked my poles under my arm. We didn’t open up the lift to guests until nine a.m., giving me about an hour and a half of peace and quiet. It was riskier with no one else around if I fell, but I was never one to shy away from risk.
The air smelled of snow as the bitter wind whipped against me. Not the best conditions, but in a few hours the clouds would clear and the new flakes would settle, calming the world for the slightest of minutes before it was covered in dirt and grime from the skiers. Or blood, if it was Ray.
Stop thinking about her, I told myself as I collapsed back onto the ski lift. It was easier said than done. Once a woman entered my thoughts, it was difficult to get her out, but with Ray it was different. There was animosity there, irritation, anger, and a working relationship divergent from any I’d had before. I wanted to poke her, prod her, irritate her. The way she scrunched her nose or furrowed her brows when I said something off-kilter or unprecedented was enough to get me into the office most days. The way she glared in my direction through the one-way mirror was intoxicating. The deep-seated anger she held for almost no reason at all was enough to make me feel like I was straddling a knife’s edge.
The risky behavior I so loved.
