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“I know, Son, and I’m sorry. I?—”
“Don’t call me that, you haven’t earned that fucking right. I thought we were getting somewhere, you seemed like you wanted to get to know me. Now I feel like a discarded play thing. One of your toys or awards to show off, and then toss aside when you’re bored.”
“No James, I?—”
“Do you think I’m bothered that you’re a ‘rock star?’”
Fucking hell I can’t get a word in edgeways.
“Do you think you have to prove how amazing you are, how popular? Marcus fucking rock star Russell.”
“I hope not.”
“Too right. I would not give a shit if you had nothing. I have enough, my mother and uncles have enough. What I don’t have is time. Time spent with you. Just you, Marcus. Don’t let us bother each other if you don’t have that. Anything else, I’m not interested in.”
My chest swells with pride. This fucking kid is going to kill me, if his mother doesn’t get there first. “Will you let me fucking speak.”
He waves his hand in a ‘be my guest’ gesture. King shit and he knows it. So like me. Oh my god.
“I know what I did was wrong. I have no excuse for it. I’m not even going to start on why again. It’s a long and sad tale, all of which you know.” He goes to open his mouth again but I put my hand up to stop him. “Let me finish, James, for fucks sake.” I take a deep breath in. “As I said, I know it was wrong, and I will not do that to you again. I want us to get to know one another. I want to spend time with you. It’s not an excuse, but I know I need to make adjustments. And I will.”
“So you’re telling me you won’t be having women over?” He looks incredulous.
“No, I will be having women over, just not when you’re here. If you want it to be just you and me, it will be. I’ll do anything you want. I’m going on tour, straight after the new year, but I’ll ring you and let you know if any headlines come out—good or bad—to tell you the truth. As I am sure you’re going to find out, what gets posted is not always the total truth. And some stuff is downright lies. But I will never lie to you, or your mother, regardless of how it looks.”
“And what about my mother? Are you seeing her?”
“No, I, it’s complicated. I, she.” Fuck, I have no idea. My head is all over the place, where she’s concerned.
“I saw the state you left her in.” I stare at him flabbergasted. “Jude told me it was you. Then I had to endure ‘the talk.’” I go from flabbergasted to gobsmacked. “Yeah, imagine that.” He’s shaking his head at me and I see him grin.
“Fuck, I am sorry, sunshine. She told you?”
“Yeah, after she walloped Uncle Jude with the spatula. It was a serious shot, she has a great arm and aim.”
“She always did.” I smile. But then I say seriously, “Nothing to do with your mother and I should affect my relationship with you. I’d need to sort my life out before I dragged your mother into it. She wouldn’t put up with me anyway.”
He huffs a laugh at that. “Too right. You’d be dead meat inside a week.” I feel the ice thaw between us a little. “I’ll meet you again when I get back from Vegas. But I don’t want you to bring your boyfriends.”
“Fuck off, James. Gabe is not my boyfriend.”
“I get it. I mean, I suppose people find him attractive, but he’s not the best looking among you. Levi’d be more your level. You’d be seriously punching above your weight if you went for Xander. Stick to Levi.”
“Xander is not better looking than me.” I’m totally indignant. How the fuck dare he.
“Hate to break it to you, Marcus, but…” He lifts his hands to a level above my head.
“Don’t call me Marcus. It’s Dad to you. I want to be Dad, not Marcus or Kellen. Dad.” We’ve gone from banter to serious again. Fuck, I want to be Dad.
He looks into my eyes, a reflection of his own. But his are better, he is better. “Okay, Dad it is. But if you fuck up again, I'll add deadbeat to the title.”
I feel like I’ve been put through the ringer. My emotions are all over the place. He looks as cool as a cucumber.
“I’m sorry James, truly. It’ll be just us for as long as you want it to be.”
“Tell Xander to stop sending me messages and pictures.”
“I’ll tell him, but he won’t listen. If you want to meet Xan separately, that’s fine. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
