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I stand up suddenly and my chair tumbles to the floor. What the hell is Kell thinking? I can’t believe they want to put him through that drama. Let’s walk away. He doesn’t need this. I don’t need this. If they don’t believe me then fine, but leave my boy alone. We don’t need him. Jesus, James. They are unbelievable.
I’ll bet it’s about his goddamn money. That’s all anyone thinks it's about, how much will they get? How much do they want? Well who cares? We don’t want it, nothing at all. It is not about that. We have loads of cash, we don’t need his. All he brings is stress.
God, I hope James hasn’t gone ballistic. Kell is going to reap the whirlwind at this rate. James might tell him to get lost. Although, would it be better if he does?
I’m still messing about with the chair as I can't focus on anything when James eventually comes through, and I smile at him sympathetically. “All okay, James?” He moves towards me, pulling me into his chest, wrapping his big frame around me. I can see in his face, he’s hanging on by a thread. I can feel his heart beating fast in his chest. Those wankers. He kisses my head and turns his face towards Jonno but doesn’t let me go.
“Were you listening?” he asks Jonno directly. There’s no malice or anger in his tone. Jonno nods at James. “What do you think about the test thing?” He pulls us down onto the settee, looking at us both. “They want me to take a paternity test,” he confirms to me.
I roll my eyes at him. “Why, ‘cos I’m a lying slut now?”
“Don’t ever say those words, Mum. Never. You’ve never lied about him. You asked me if I wanted to know who my father was. I made the choice not to know. And then not to tell you once I did know. You were always enough for me.
Plus, we don’t slut shame nowadays either, Mother. So don’t you start it back up again. Marcus told me how it was between the two of you. So just stop with the slut bullshit. I hate that you would think about yourself like that.”
Jonno looks at me. “ He’s got a point, Evie. Rehashing Marcus’s words isn’t helping any cause. Remember what you’ve just said to me.”
I sigh, “You’re right. I suppose if I’m being logical, big IF, I’d probably want one, too.” I smile at my son, my heart expanding with love.
“Marcus said he’s not bothered either way, and they’re still going to put out the statement tomorrow night apparently. He’s due to meet his family and then go back to LA more or less straight away.” James’s phone pings with an incoming text. He looks down and smirks. “Mick wants to know if they can pick me up to go to the lab. Bit quick, huh?” He looks at us both and I can see the poor boy doesn’t know which way to turn.
I’m the parent here, and I need to be the bigger person. It sounds like Kellen gets it-a bit. Maybe he does believe me. I’m surprised he was not leading the charge on the test. Maybe he is still in there. “James, do what you feel the most comfortable with. If you want to go with Kellen and Mick, do that. If you think you’ll feel better with Jonno and I, we’ll take you. Or I can. Or Jonno can. There’s no right or wrong here, just do what you feel is the best for you.” I move closer to him and pull my six-foot-two, not-kid-a-man-but-no-longer-a-boy son back into a hug.
He lowers his head to my shoulder. “I’ll go with Mick and Marcus,” he says quietly.
I nod against him, not quite ready to let go yet, and say, “It’ll be fine, son.”
He smiles and murmurs, “Thanks, Mum.”
My heart is not going to survive this intact.
As he goes off to make the arrangements, I walk into my office and close the door. I spin around, resting my back on the door and letting my head fall back. Is this the start? Picking him over me. What the hell is wrong with me? I spout off about Kellen, but I’m worse. I’m jealous of him. Maybe I am such a bad person. I didn’t want to share my boy all these years. That’s why I didn’t push telling him.
I knew where Kellen was, he was never out of the tabloids. Dubbed the ‘Rock Star Royal,’ he made headlines on both sides of the Atlantic, for each perceived depravity he got involved in. At times, he was hard to avoid. One well-publicised divorcethat turned vicious at the end. The families at war, accusations, recriminations flying backwards and forwards. I knew his wife died a few months after the divorce was finalised. He’d found out the same way the rest of the world did, via a media statement from her family. And the blame and onus was put squarely on him.
At times I didn’t even recognise the boy I once knew in those press stories. But I knew I needed to avoid him, and I did at all costs. I refused to let James be hurt by another potentially public rejection. I deleted anything I saw online and had a strict no search policy. It was so hard. The man was a magnet for trouble. I did wonder a few times if I was being so contrary and subversive on purpose to drive them apart. To prove to myself that he really was as bad as they made him out to be.
I put my son front and centre in my life at all times, and I will not falter at this stage. I won’t be disrespected and insulted, especially in my own home. I need to sort things out with Kellen, and soon, as he’s clearly not staying here for long.
Chapter
Ten
KELLEN
I’m starting to realise that the family Greystone have privacy issues. And by issues, I mean they have no concept of it.
After the lab test, I drop James off at a bar in the West End to meet his friends, and he’s barely out of the car when my phone rings. I don’t recognise the number, probably shouldn’t answer it, and in the past I never would have. But now I’m beginning to realise that even though I never gave them my number, they had it.
“Hello,” I answer in a clipped tone.
“Kellen, it’s Evie,” she replies, her voice sounding upbeat.
“Evie, hi.” Mick turns around to look at me in surprise. I shrug my shoulders at him and pull a what the fuck look.
“Can we meet up please?”
Honestly, I didn’t see that coming either. I genuinely thought I’d not see her anytime soon.
