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“She refused a divorce. I offered her one?—”
“So she’d lose her fucking insurance?” Theo yelled. “You’d do that to her, wouldn’t you?”
“No. No.” His dad’s face was red, and his eyes watered. “I fucked up. Badly. With you, with her. Probably Em. Daniel and Penny still hug me. I don’t deserve their trust. I didn’t handle the stroke well at all, and I was set on my life imploding. And you know what kept me going? You. You took charge and made sure our family was okay, and I’m indebted to you the rest of your life. But I’m ready to own my shit and be better. You can hate me. You should. I lied. All those nights working, I lied.”
Theo breathed so fast, his chest moved up and down nonstop. A muscle in his jaw kept ticking, and when he spoke, his voice cracked. “I’m so fucking mad at you.”
“I know you are.” His dad shrugged and looked so pathetic and sad my own eyes watered. “Be mad at me. Be furious. But you calling me on my shit awoke something in me, and I’m sorry it took so long to wake up. You don’t have to watch your siblings anymore. I’ll take care of everything. You can enjoy your life as you should.”
“Are you going to tell Em?”
“I’d rather not.” His dad gulped. “But if you choose to, I’ll deal with it. I’m not avoiding the truth, but I don’t want her hating me when you leave next year. And she would. She follows your lead on everything, Theo.”
“Why even tell me?” Theo’s palm sweated so much it dripped between our hands, but I didn’t dare move an inch.
“Because you deserve the truth from me.” His dad moved his eyes to me, his red-rimmed and devastated. “Please, take care of him.”
“I will.” I nodded, hoping that gesture gave Mr. Sanders some reassurance. Theo would be so hurt by this, and I’d help him. I’d do whatever it took. “Come on, Theo. We should leave.”
“One more thing, Theo.” His dad’s voice shook now. “I’m sorry I told you to not play hockey. That was selfish of me, and I regret that the most. Your mom is more pissed at me for saying that to you than the affair.”
Theo’s eyes fluttered, and I wrapped an arm around his waist, moving him out of the kitchen and onto the front porch. The fall air smelled like bonfires, and the sound of crickets and cicadas surrounded us. It would’ve been romantic if Theo wasn’t about to break down.
He plopped down on the front step, a vacant look in his eyes as he stared off into the distance. I moved right in front of him, waiting for him to meet my eyes. “What do you need right now? A rage room? A drink? To run? I can’t run fast or well, but I’ll run with you. Or I’ll drive next to you. Yeah, that’s more likely. Do you want to be alone? I don’t want to leave you, Theo, but I can like, take you to a field and stand at a distance.”
“No, don’t leave.” He ran a hand up my thigh and closed his eyes, resting his forehead against my stomach. “I’m gonna fall apart. I can feel it.”
“Stop fighting it then. I’ll help you pick up the pieces when you’re done, okay?” I ran my fingers through his hair and sniffed. “You don’t have to be strong around me. Just be yourself. I’m not going anywhere.”
It took a few seconds, then he released the most gut-wrenching sob. His shoulders trembled as he cried. It broke my soul apart. I held him, my own eyes watering as he lost it. “It’s okay, Theo. Let it out, sweetheart.”
It lasted maybe fifteen minutes, him resting his face against my stomach as I held onto him. Holding him, being the person to comfort him was the most influential moment of my life. I was put here to help him. To be there for him in whatever way he needed. “What do you want to do next?”
He wiped his face with the backs of his hands and gave me a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry I cried on you. Not my best moment.”
“Theo Sanders.” I cupped his wonderful face. “Don’t you dare apologize. This what couples do for each other when the other isn’t as strong.”
He laid his hands over mine, and his sad blue eyes shifted. “You’re amazing.” He kissed me, his lips still salty from his tears. “Audrey, I?—”
“Do you want to go see your mom?”
He blinked. “Will you come with me?”
I nodded and held out my hand. “I’ll drive you. Just tell me where to go.”
“I-I…Auds, baby, I haven’t been in months. She might hate me.” His jaw flexed, and his eyes lost the momentary warmth. “She’s there but not herself. It’s hard. I miss my mom, not…I sound so ungrateful.”
“No, you don’t.” I rubbed his back and regrouped. “I’m not going to force you, but if I were you, that’s who’d I’d go and see.”
“Okay. Yeah. I should. I’m gonna be a mess after though.”
“You’re my mess.” I winked, earning a laugh from him. The magical sound was all I wanted. I missed it. “I really want to meet this woman, Theo. She raised you, and you’re the best person I know.”
He pushed up and wrapped his arms around me, lifting me off the ground in a hug. “Thank you for being here with me.”
“There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”
We drove in a comfortable silence to the care facility about twenty minutes from his house. It was only six at night, and they were still letting visitors in until seven. We signed in, and I took note of the decorations. This place seemed homey, comfortable. Music played from a speaker, and all the workers smiled.
