Page 70 of Through the Ice


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“You’re spicier than normal. Want to talk about it?”

“No. Not with you.” He ran a hand over his face, and that’s when I noticed he had dark circles under his eyes. Like he hadn’t been sleeping. He yawned and stared around the student union without his usual swagger. I chose this spot because it was public, so if he wanted to swing at me there’d be witnesses but also because I was hungry. I picked up a fry just as he asked, “Have you ever fucked up?”

Whoa. He’d asked me a question.

“Of course, I have. We all do.”

“No, I meant with someone you care about.”

Shit. Did he mean his sister? I wasn’t sure I could handle talking about this knowing how upset Audrey was. I immediately tensed, but this was good he was opening up. Maybe he realized he was the problem. Maybe Audrey can forgive him.

That was ideal for me. I’d be a mess without my siblings’ care, and even though she said she wanted him out of her life, I knew it was a lie. She loved him. She was just hurt.

“Messed up with someone I care about?” I thought about my dad and how he hadn’t spoken to me since I’d snapped at him. Instead, he’d been having Em be the translator between us. A rock formed in my gut, and I put that shit in a box for another day. “Yes. I have.”

There. That was the truth. I wish I would’ve handled my dad better, made us a team instead of enemies.

“Did you fix it?”

I shook my head. “Q, I know you hate me because you blame me for your injury. I kinda get it actually, but as your captain and someone who wants you to be good mentally and physically, you gotta give me more than this.”

“I do hate you.”

“Yes, that’s been noted.” I sighed.

“Has my…you see my sister at clinicals, right?”

I nodded, keeping my face neutral. I wasn’t giving him any more about her.

“Audrey is the reason I’m here. At this school, playing hockey.” He hung his head. “She wants me out of her life.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“Like shit, what do you think?” he snapped. “She won’t text me back, and I’m worried I can’t fix it. This is stupid, talking to you about this because you don’t want to help me in any way or could?—”

“Quentin,” I barked out, making him look at me. “Let me make this clear. I’m on team Audrey. When you work clinicals at the ICU with someone, you go through things and bond. I respect the hell out of her and want nothing more than for her to be happy. And for some reason, she loves your dumbass. So, I do care. I do want to help you because it’ll help her.”

His jaw ticked. “I’m glad she has a friend in her corner.”

More than a friend. But I just nodded.

“When you hurt someone you love, how do you fix it? That’s where I’m stuck. I don’t know if you know this, but our dad died when we were in high school, and it was bad. Like, really bad. Audrey became the parent of the house. Our mom…she isn’t who she used to be. She uses Audrey…Fuck. Telling you this sucks. I don’t… I should go.”

His voice shook, and it was so clearly a cry for help my heart squeezed in my chest. I thought about Audrey helping Em, holding her that day she got the flat. This was Audrey’s Em, and all the hockey bullshit disappeared, and it was just me and Audrey’s brother. Her only real family left.

“My mom had a stroke and is in a long-term facility. My dad stopped being a dad. It’s been almost a year and a half now, and it’s been hell. I’m too afraid to go see her, and my dad and I barely speak. I know what it’s like, what you’re going through. Only, I’m the Audrey in this situation. I’m the oldest. I’m the caretaker for my three siblings, and if I was fighting with one of them, it would kill me.”

Quentin gulped and stared at me with wide eyes. “Wait, what?”

“That’s the reason I asked to transfer here. My siblings live thirty minutes from campus, and I have to pick them up from school, make sure they have dinner. Because if I don’t? I can’t guarantee my dad would come home.” I swallowed the bitter pill as I shared with Quentin. “Our relationship changed. I’m not the fun older brother anymore. I’m the one who feeds them, puts my five-year-old sister to bed. Instead of living up my senior year before the NHL, that’s what I’m doing every night. All I do is give myself to them. I’m sacrificing a lot for them. But they’re young. You’re not. If Audrey had to do even a little bit of that with you… that girl sacrificed everything for you and your mom. Now, my siblings are grateful as fuck, and we’ve bonded together through this. Have you? Are you grateful?”

Fuck, what was I gonna do next year? I would miss them so much.

He stared across the cafeteria and shook his head. I didn’t intend to knock the sails completely out of Quentin, but he looked defeated. "Audrey has always been the responsible one, the more mature and smarter and better one. My mom is ashamed of herself and can’t be around Audrey out of embarrassment. And she’s struggling financially when Audrey has been frugal. She failed as a parent, and her daughter is a better one.”

“Have you talked to your sister about this?”

“No. I’m not sure I deserve to after hearing this from you. She’s never… she yelled at me for the first time in our lives last week. I had no idea she was upset or hurt or anything. She’s always been stable and consistent and there for me.”

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