AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Why do you watch your siblings though? How are you going to handle that and hockey and these clinicals? Do you have other help?”
And pop. There went the nice bubble I was enjoying. My life outside of this moment was nothing but stress. She was a distraction, a fun, unexpected one, but I didn’t want to think about all waiting for me. Like the fact my dad needed a night away for the third time this week, so I had to be home with my family on a Friday night. Instead of answering her question and having her derail the evening, I spun the question around on her. Bantering with her was slowly becoming my own form of amusement. “It sounds like you might care about my health and sanity a little bit.”
“What?” She shook her head. “No, of course not. You could have the shits right now, and I wouldn’t care at all.”
I barked out a laugh. Her answer was so unexpected I wanted another one from her. “Okay, then why ask about how I’m balancing three very stressful things if you don’t care?”
She sucked her teeth and shrugged. “Don’t want to have to carry the team at the ICU.”
“You wouldn’t. Lie better.”
She rolled her eyes, her lips quirking for half a second before she stared at me. “That’s a lot to take on. I wouldn’t wish all that on my worst enemy.”
“And am I your worst enemy, Audrey?” Damn, my voice dropped low, almost like I was flirting with her. Which I sure as hell wasn’t. Did I need to list the reasons why that would be foolishly stupid? Unforgivably stupid?
Brother. Teammate. Captain. Clinicals. Injury. No time.
There, that stopped me.
“No, my enemy’s name is Penelope Bloomsberry.”
Another unexpected answer. I fought a grin. “And who is she?”
“My nemesis. Enough questions. Your ice cream is melting, and we have things to read this weekend.”
I took her cue and stopped teasing her about hating me. It was obvious she didn’t, and she struggled with it. I wanted her to struggle with judging me, but I was also not naïve enough to think we’d ever be real friends. While I wasn’t ready to share my story with her, it was clear she wasn’t prepared either because Reiner’s question remained in the back of my head the last few days. She’d raised her brother. How? Why?
It made me think of my siblings and if anyone injured them, preventing them from doing the thing they loved for a year… I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to move on. Even if they deserved what happened to them.
If she’d raised Quentin, then she’d truly never forgive or understand why he got injured that game. Disappointment clouded my entire mood, the reality of the situation hitting me. I wanted to be friends with her. I didn’t want her to hate me. I’d always been able to get along with everyone, but I hadn’t found a real friend here at Central State yet, and it sucked. It took a lot to anger me, and life generally had so many bright sides. But I’d seen the looks she’d given me. She’d never accept me as anything but the guy who injured her brother.
Defeat didn’t sit well with me. When I’d lose a game, it’d take days to recover from, so after spending time with her and realizing I wanted to be friends, it hurt to know we couldn’t be. With such limited time I had, it was wasteful to put energy into a one-sided relationship.
“You seem stressed.” She took another long lick of her spoon. “Is it clinicals or all the other stuff I mentioned?”
“Doesn’t matter.” I sighed and took a bite. “Thanks for letting me treat you to ice cream, but I think I’m heading out.”
“Wait, already?” She frowned, her lips pouting on her heart-shaped face. It was almost like she didn’t want me to leave, but the momentary display of emotion zapped from her face the next second. “Of course, yeah. I’ll see you Tuesday.”
“We’re doing the buddy-reading, right?”
“I’ll read both anyway.” She didn’t look at me. She stared at the center of the white table, where a bunch of sprinkles had fallen over. “I can share notes with you. What’s your email?”
I wrote down my email on a napkin. Not my number, because she refused, but my stupid email so she could share her detailed notes. If that didn’t scream never-friends, nothing else did. “I’ll ask around to see if anyone else got assigned those studies so I can buddy ready with them.”
“I don’t mind sharing with you.” That frown line appeared between her brows again. “I said that, right?”
“Sure, but the point is for us to save time, and if you’re going to do it anyway, it’s not the same.” I waved a hand in the air, itching to get out. I had an hour left of free time before my dad needed me at the house. I’d be a good partner during clinicals, but that was it. Being a solid teammate made all the difference, so I’d focus on that next week instead of trying to form a friendship with someone so reluctant. “Have a good weekend, Audrey.”
“Yeah, you too.” Her voice seemed distant, off even, but I didn’t let myself stress about it. I didn’t have the capacity to worry about her. Sure, she seemed sad as we walked out of the hospital, and I wasn’t a jerk. But my investment in her had to stop now. I was one papercut away from having losing it, and Audrey was nothing but stress.
Em was in her room with the windows locked. Daniel had fallen asleep, and Penny went out like a like an hour ago. My dad was in another town again so that left me alone. Finally.
Exhaustion wore me like an accessory, and the season hadn’t even started yet. That would happen in four weeks, which would add another layer to the stress-meter that was ready to blow. Man, I missed my mom so much. The facility she stayed at was about twenty minutes from here, and I hadn’t gone to see her in a while. Guilt ate at me, but it was so damn hard to see her now. She wasn’t the same mom who raised me, and fuck, it gutted me. Being the only one awake in my childhood home had nostalgia hitting me left and right, and I needed to do something to distract myself. Make lists. I had so damn much to do, and it would push away the horrible thoughts.
Lists helped me stay on track and not spiral out of control too much. So, I wrote down everything I needed accomplish and tried not to have a freak-out. The studies Marcy assigned would take hours, time I didn’t have. It was already eleven, and I had practice in the morning, a shit-ton of homework, a team event with Coach, then back home. I had three hours on Sunday, if that, to do it.
Fuck. I slid into bed and fired up my laptop, determined to read half of the first one about pharmacology. It focused on the effects and management of vasopressors in septic shock patients. It had a detailed analysis of the use of drugs and indications for use, dosages, and titration, and side effects. Then we had to answer the question: In a patient with septic shock, what are the main focuses of the nurse during the early stages of treatment?
