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Auds. He wasn’t my brother or my friend. I frowned, hating the catch in my throat at hearing him say that nickname.
“I hoped I’d catch you so we could walk in together. Hey, we should exchange numbers.”
I pressed my lips together, determined to dislike him. “I don’t know if we need to do that.”
His jaw flexed before he shrugged. “Okay.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and jutted his jaw toward the entrance. “Ready? I almost couldn’t sleep last night I was so anxious. Heard horror stories about working the ICU.”
“It’s a great way to prepare us for life post-graduation,” I said, cringing at how robotic I sounded. Why couldn’t I just say I felt the same? Nerves hit me too, but admitting any weaknesses to him could be used later.
He rolled his eyes, his lips quirking up. “Oh, I didn’t realize that. Thank you. Geez, that’s such good information to learn.”
Damn it. I fought a smile. “You’re sarcastic.”
He covered his chest with a hand and grinned. “Me? No.”
A snort escaped before I could stop it. Theo’s eyes lit up as he walked close enough for our arms to brush together. With one small touch of his elbow grazing mine, my skin burned with awareness. His freshly showered scent also hit me, a pleasant clean smell.
“Ah, you do have a sense of humor. I wasn’t sure at first, but I’m glad it’s there. I liked the sound of that weird little snort.”
“It wasn’t weird,” I quipped, mentally scolding myself. “Okay, yeah, it was. Sorry.”
“Nah, I liked it. It’s no cackle, but I’ll get you to cackle someday. I’m sure of it. Operation Auds Laughter is underway.”
My lips parted, and my stomach swooped in an unfamiliar, dangerous way. He was being too nice to me. Why? I didn’t deserve it or understand it. His genuine demeanor freaked me out because everything was a contradiction with him.
“Why are you—” I started, about to ask the very question but stopped when we approached the nurses’ station. Marcy stood there in her purple scrubs and her hair pulled back tight in a ponytail. She didn’t smile, but her body shifted as she greeted us.
“Ms. Hawthorne, Mr. Sanders, welcome.” She shook my hand, then Theo’s. “Let’s not waste time. Today I’m going to give you a tour to learn where to find our essential equipment, patient rooms, emergency exits, and restocking areas. Memorize it. I need you both understanding the physical layout in the event of an emergency.”
She handed both Theo and I a folder. “In there, you’ll find our protocols and procedures. There’s nothing too crazy, but please familiarize yourself with our infection control practices, patient privacy laws, and emergency response procedures. Once your shift starts with me, there are moments where we won’t have time to discuss procedures. Seconds matter here. They could be the difference between life and death.”
I gulped down the rush of adrenaline. My grandpa died in an ICU after a car crash when I was eight, and I never forgot the sounds and smells of the hospital. They said the crash did all the damage, but what if someone could’ve stopped the bleeding five seconds earlier? Would it have mattered?
I’d never know, but I took Marcy very seriously. I refused to be the reason someone didn’t make it out of the ICU. Theo’s gaze landed on me, his eyes solemn and serious. No evidence of the goofy guy who was there five minutes earlier. Something warm landed on my pinky finger, and I sucked in a breath when I traced the reason.
Theo locked our pinkies together and squeezed for two seconds and let go. That touch sent flurries of emotions in my chest to the point it ached. That one little gesture reassured me and flustered me within seconds.
What the hell was that?
I swallowed hard and jerked my hand away from him. His jaw flexed, but that was the only sign he reacted to my quick movements.
“Any questions yet?” Marcy asked, her tone brisk.
We shook our heads. My questions had nothing to do with the orientation and everything to do with the giant next to me.
“Okay, after we do the layout tour and protocols, we’ll get into safety procedures and an equipment overview. You need to know how to handle disposal of sharp items and hazardous substances.”
Marcy didn’t wait a beat before moving into the tour. She pointed out the essential locations, only pausing every ten minutes or so to see if we had a question. The hour went by in a blur. It was pure adrenaline and excitement but a blur, nonetheless.
This place would be my second home this semester. It smelled like chemicals and the memories of losing people I cared about, but it fueled me to be here. If I could somehow learn all the tricks, I could keep Quentin safe. Or help others return home to their families.
In the sixty minutes we were there, there had been one code blue and one critical response team. Everyone understood their role and responsibility during that time, and it was fascinating to see everyone remain under control. There had been no loss of life in that moment, and I knew that wasn’t always the case.
My pulse raced the entire time, and my body went into survival mode. I’d been through so much loss I could shut out the worry and focus on the task.
“Okay, Theo, Audrey,” Marcy said after we told her to use our first names. “I have a few things for you to read this weekend. This semester isn’t just about observing. You must learn. I want you prepared enough to take the job after month one. That means reading, discussing, and applying. The studies I referenced in your folder are about pharmacology and pathophysiology. You need to deeply understand the medications commonly used here and how they interact with other medicines, as well as conditions commonly seen here. Learn and understand the disease process, potential complications, and rationale around treatments. Also, communication is essential in a code blue. You’ll need to anticipate needs before they’re said. I’ll see you both Tuesday morning.”
With that, she left us as the station where we entered, and she was out of sight within a few seconds.
