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He looks so boyishly happy, the smile on his face making his entire body light up. It suddenly strikes me that he probably didn’t get many presents as a child or in foster care as a teen. Does he exchange gifts with Gus? He said he’s never bought jewelry before, but did he exchange gifts with the other women he’s cuffed with?
I shake my head and walk to the shelf where I hid his gift behind a book. I knew he’d never look there. “I got it a couple of weeks ago.” I palm the gift and walk across the room.
“Let me see,” he demands, playfully trying to pry my fingers apart.
We play fight and wrestle for a minute, and he throws me over the couch before covering my body with his own. He tickles me, and the sound of my laughter mixed with the Christmas music playing on Alexa makes me think about my own childhood. Have I had such a carefree and happy Christmas since my dad died?
He finally gets the item in my hand and stills as he looks at it, the smile disappearing from his face. He looks from his present to my eyes, and I panic. “Do you already have one?”
He shakes his head, but grabs the item, opens it, and sucks in a breath. “Savannah!”
That’s all he mutters. No thank you. No telling me to fuck myself. “If you don’t like it, we can take it back. I mean, it’s engraved, but I thought you could use it for hiking and camping this summer,” I say.
He stares at the bronze compass case and opens it a few times as if testing the clasp. Maybe it was too much to have it engraved with the instruction to use it to find his way when he’s lost. He must hate the inference that he should find his way back to me.
I need to cover fast.
“It’s just so you find your way around campsites,” I nervously laugh. “Can’t have you getting eaten by a bear or…a pack of wolves.” Really? A pack of wolves?
He looks down at me, his legs still pinning me in place. “Nobody has ever given me anything like this. Ever.” His voice is husky, and he clears his voice to hide it. “I’ll use it all the time.”
I need to change the subject. Pastry. That’s it! Let’s talk about the pastry he obviously went out and got this morning. “Want a scone?” I ask, playfully kicking him away and rolling off the couch and onto the floor as he sits back on the couch, still staring at the compass.
Fuck, this is just pathetic. It’s obvious we gave each other caring gifts because we care about each other. Now, I’m talking about fruit-flavored dough.
He shakes his head and glances at the tray he prepared. “Uh, yeah, I also got you some flavored coffees. I wasn’t sure which you wanted for Christmas.”
I walk over to the tray and kneel, picking up a cup and blowing on it before taking a big gulp. “Anything you want to do today?” I ask, hoping to shift focus away from the gifts.
“Are we going to Heather’s?”
“If you want to and can handle any tirade I have.”
“I’ll get the shower curtain and honey ready,” he chuckles.
December 31 – Wilder
“This is nice. I’ve never had a date on New Year’s Eve before,” Savannah smiles, running her hand up my arm. My coat and her gloves are between us, but my body still warms to her touch.
“Really?” I ask. I’ve done this what feels like a million times.
Quick. I need to think of something to change the subject about these types of parties so she won’t ask me if I usually go with someone or kiss someone at midnight. I don’t know if I could lie to her if she outright asked me if I do this often.
I have it down. The host or hostess will take my coat, I present the wine I brought, and the girl I’m with will take the appetizer plate she made to the kitchen to talk to her friend while I sip a beer or eggnog with the guys in the living room. Sometimes, just to mix things up, there’s a bar in a finished basement or a foosball table the guys are gathered around. I could blindfold myself and put noise canceling headphones on my ears, and I’d still know all the right things to say and do.
“I told you I’ve never had a boyfriend for this long.”
“Right,” I mumble.
She reddens and stiffens next to me. “I mean, I know you’re not my real boyfriend or anything.” She pulls away a little, and I don’t like it. “And never will be…” her voice trails off.
Light snow falls around us, and I briefly look up at the sky and smile before looking back at her. “I’m here for the next six weeks. We’re having a fun time, and we’re going to a party tonight. Let’s get in there and get that warming pot plugged in because your meatballs are the best on the planet.”
She sighs, stands on her tiptoes, and places a small kiss on my chin.
It’s not a kiss that will lead to sex. At least, it won’t end in sex while we stand on her friend Melissa’s porch. It’s just an acknowledgement. A thanks. She’s happy to be with me. I’ve made women content and have certainly satisfied them in bed, but I don’t know if my existence has ever brought them joy.
My thoughts are interrupted by Melissa swinging the door open and ushering us inside as she takes our coats to a small bedroom off to the side of the living room. She kisses my cheek and quickly introduces me around the room before swooping Savannah off to the kitchen.
