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Letting out a tiny whimper, her hand lowers between us, palming my hardness over my pants. My hips rock into her hand almost involuntarily. I kiss her harder, my tongue lapping against hers, heated and needy. Cupping her sex, I press my palm against her, feeling dampness through her leggings. A shiver works its way down my spine.
My dick is pulsing with need, but when her hand tries to dip into my waistband, I back off. I groan painfully but set her down, pulling her hand back up to my abs and kissing her gently to slow down. My chin rests against her head, the hat knocked to the floor at some point, and I take a deep breath to control my raging hormones. I feel like a teenager all over again.
She stills in my arms. I look down at her, intending to make a joke about us getting in trouble, but her face stops me. She’s looking at the ground, her expression serious and… hurt? She quickly fixes her disheveled clothing, avoiding my eyes.
Tipping her chin up to look at me, I raise my eyebrows, silently questioning her mood change.
“You don’t want me to touch you?” She says in a small voice.
“I promise you that is not the case, baby girl. I want nothing more than to stay up here for the rest of the afternoon and touch each other in all sorts of ways. But I don’t know if right now is the time.” I chuckle lightly, attempting to diffuse the tension.
“Why not?”
“Well, for starters, you’re still healing from a lot of trauma.” She tries to cut me off but I keep going, “and before you say it, I’m not babying you. I see what you are capable of and how quickly you are healing. But you still have more healing to do, and I’m not just talking about physically. Not one of us wants to take advantage of you in any sort of compromised state.”
“That’s what Luis said, but I don’t feel that way.“ Ahh, now I understand what the tension has been about.
“There’s also the fact that I haven’t done this before. I’m not entirely certain of what I’m doing or how to do it or if I’m doing it right. As tempting as it is to take you hard and fast against this wall, I’d like to take my time figuring out how to do it right.”
I’ve only ever been with Lukas. Up till now, I’ve only ever even thought about being with Lukas. All of this is new to me.
Her mouth settles into an “o”, her eyebrows raised. “I’m sorry, I hadn’t considered. I didn’t mean to push.”
“You aren’t pushing me into anything I don’t want, I promise you. And I was pushing into you just as much.”
Bending down to retrieve the hat, I place it back on her head and kiss her again.
“We’re good then?” I ask her, and she nods. “Well let’s go get some lunch, everybody’s probably already eaten. I’m surprised Bennet hasn’t come up here to drag you downstairs. Caveman style,” I say with a wink.
She laughs, and all's right with the world.
Six
By the time we get back downstairs, my heart rate has returned to normal. I don’t know what’s gotten into me, but I can’t get my head out of the gutter. I’ve been flustered a LOT the past couple days, but yesterday in the tub a switch flipped and I cannot turn myself off.
To be fair, I don’t remember what I was like before. Maybe I was a big ‘ol dirty slut and this is normal for me. I’m not judging myself, I just wish these guys would get on board… literally.
Don’t get me wrong, I certainly don’t want to climb anyone that doesn’t want me, but I feel like I’m getting the same vibes from them. Except maybe Bennet - I can’t be sure about him. He likes to toy with me and make me think he’s interested, but he hasn’t so much as attempted to touch me. Instead he acts like I'm fragile, or maybe contagious.
But aside from Bennet, I’ve seen some pretty hard evidence they’re into it, so why is everyone holding back?
Because they think I’m an invalid.
“I don’t want to take advantage,” they keep saying. Luis actually apologized for what happened in the tub. I hadn’t even thought to be ashamed or feel like we did something wrong until he came to me with that apology.
If anything, yesterday was an awakening for me. Because despite the monster I saw in the mirror, they could see through all of it and still wanted me. And now that I’m clean and getting stronger by the day, my confidence is growing.
I’d still like to not have a giant bald spot on my head, but the rest of me feels okay. More than okay, I feel alive. Fantastic. Electrified.
Today has been one tease after the other. First, I wake up to Jackson looking down at me with a feral look in his eye like he’s about to eat me up. Um, yes please. Then there’s a literal bed full of sleep tousled testosterone. Next, trying not to get distracted while Micah holds my body in the pool, watching his back muscles ripple more than the water. Not to mention the hottest impromptu make-out session, his hard body pressed against mine…
Parts of my body are throbbing so hard, I’m surprised I can walk straight.
Walking into the dining room and seeing the rest of the guys spread out with papers and laptops sobers me a little, though. How could I possibly get distracted from the mindfuck of those three being brothers? Everyone may think I’m nuts, but how could it possibly be a coincidence? How is it that I find my way into a relationship with three guys who turn out to be related? And the other two are together.
Oh my panties, they’re together. Like, together-together. I wonder if they’ll want me together, or if I can watch…
“Are you alright?” Lukas asks, concerned.
