AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The academic in me needs that explanation, that connection to reality - because my brain and my heart are at war, and this is anything but normal. I don’t want to admit it to myself, much less out loud, but there’s something deeper happening here. My logical, scientific brain rebels against it.
“Feels like more.” Jackson admits to the very thing I was trying to avoid.
I force my features to remain impassive as I try to surreptitiously gauge everyone else’s reaction. Bennet remains professionally aloof, giving no sign he heard Jackson’s admission. Luis’ eyebrows raise as if he’s made some kind of realization. Micah’s eyes widen in a mixture of shock and concern.
“None of us have slept much and we’ve found ourselves in a stressful situation. It’s natural that we feel affected. She’s obviously scared and helpless, of course we would all feel obligated to care for her. It doesn’t mean anything other than we’re good people.” I reason out loud, forcing a logical sense of the situation.
The fact that all of them are feeling something similar is somewhat reassuring that this is simply a by-product of the human condition. Well, all obvious except for Bennet, but something about the way he is clenching his jaw makes me think he’s just better at controlling his reactions.
“I’m sorry.” Tilting my head in the direction of the small, sad voice, I’m startled to see that she is awake. And was listening the entire time. “I’m sorry,” she repeats.
“Oh, I didn’t…. I…. You haven’t done anything wrong.” My face heats in embarrassment. I try to assure her, but I know I’ve managed to come across as a complete asshole.
Most of the guys scowl at me as if they had known she was awake the whole time. Luis still hasn’t taken his eyes off her hand, cradled in his own.
“We are all here to support you and do what it takes to keep you safe until we figure this all out.”I try to assure her.
And once she’s safe and healthy we won’t feel this connection, and we can walk away and go back to our normal lives, I tell myself.
Jane Doe
I sleep fitfully, plagued with flashes of indecipherable nightmares. When I wake up, I don’t feel especially rested, but I do feel oddly comfortable. There is warm pressure over various parts of my body.
Blinking, my eyes open to see the guys surrounding my bed, each of them with a hand on me. At first, it feels calming and reassuring. But as my brain catches up, I begin to process the hushed conversation happening over my bed.
My eyes lock on Lukas as he whispers to the others about feeling obligated to help me.
They don’t want to be here.
My face heats as shame washes over me. I’ve been keeping these strangers from their lives. Why did I have to go and attach myself to the first people to treat me kindly? I feel guilty for making them feel like they have to stay. I’d rather face this alone than drag anyone along unwillingly.
“I’m sorry.”
My voice barely registers above a whisper. Forcing myself to swallow, my mouth and throat dry from sleep, I repeat myself. Looking down at me in surprise, their expressions quickly turn to pity, which is worse.
Lukas scrambles to cover for the conversation I wasn’t meant to hear, but I am so deeply embarrassed that I can’t bear to make eye contact. I want to tell them all they are welcome to go with zero guilt involved, but I can’t quite find the words. My eyes are filling up with tears but I don’t want to come off as melodramatic.
Lukas tries to placate me. “We are all here to support you and do what it takes to keep you safe until we figure this all out.” His words only dig in further.
If I could sink into the covers and drown… Why do I care so much about what these strangers think of me? Of course they’re just being good Samaritans, nothing more.
Pressure on my hand has me turning to look at Luis, who is staring intently down at our joined hands. His expression is unreadable, but I worry he might be considering Lukas’ words and weighing the truth of them.
Lukas and Bennet have both backed away, removing their hands and leaving half of my body cold and ungrounded. Micah hasn’t moved, having a wordless conversation with Lukas. He shakes his head and looks at me with kind eyes, probably just trying to be nice. Jackson is smiling, but I can’t tell if he’s blissfully unaware of the tension in the room or doesn’t care. He meets my eye and gives me a little wink, which helps me feel a tiny bit less awkward.
The door opens. “Oh good, you’re awake! How are you feeling Mrs. Anderson?”
Mrs. Who?
It takes me a moment to realize that the matronly nurse is talking to me. She’s shuffling about the room, checking monitors and fluffing my pillows. Her crisp scrubs are pink and she smells a bit like baby powder. She has fading strawberry blonde hair, pulled into a neat bun at the top of her head, and a kind smile that is accentuated by her heavy pink blush.
Bennet cuts me a look, indicating I should play along. I try to wipe the shell-shocked look off my face.
“She just woke up, actually.” He addresses the nurse, but doesn’t take his eyes off me. “We were asking Mia the same question. She seemed a little out of sorts.”
Did he give me a fake name? Mrs. Mia Anderson? Why Mrs.?
Which one of them am I supposed to be married to exactly?
