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I wasn’t lying. His eyes constantly moved to anything but me whenever they could. And mine, they did the opposite.

“I can look at you just fine, there, in my pink hoodie.”

“I didn’t like the clothes Kate brought. They were too constrictive. But I still have the underwear on, and I hate how they feel. But I did it for you. Because I didn’t want you to think I was wandering around your place with your family without them.”

“You mean snuggling up with my brother?”

I couldn’t say for sure how it happened because I didn’t feel it, but a tear rolled from my eye.

“No.” His cheeks flushed with the rising of his temper. “I definitely wouldn’t want that, Cat. I need to get out of this fucking room.”

“That isn’t going to change how you feel. And I feel a distance, which is normal, I guess, but yesterday, you felt like home. You felt like safety. And today—”

Fast feet took him to the door. He froze, hand on the knob, and the hope inside me fluttered before dying a quick death. His head turned to the side, only enough to see me, and he whispered. “Today, I just need a little space. It’s a fuckload to process for me, too.”

“Remi, wait!” my voice was the opposite of a whisper.

He turned toward me a little more, reviving that hope.

“We can work through it together. We’ve lost enough time.”

“And we survived that. We can survive a few more hours.”

And then he was gone.

Chapter 19

Remi

Icouldn’t believe I did that.

I left her on my bed, crying.

If only she knew my reasons.

And I did have them. It wasn’t just that I’d always been a fucking idiot when it came to Cat, though that was true, too.

Long legs pushed me back on the swing set that was so out of place here, given that no one in this house had fucking kids. I pushed back in the mud, swinging a little higher. Another pair of Woodrow’s sneakers left a print in the dirt as I tucked my legs up and swung higher.

As a child, I’d never done this, never done so many normal kid things. I’d never to this day, ridden a bike. I’d missed so many days of school and the opportunity to make friends there, as my mother was “the weird drug lady.” And other parents didn’t want their kids playing with me, the weird drug lady’s accident.

I swung higher again, a pair of hands assisting me this time.

He gave one push before he collected the bucket of mush he’d left behind and placed it away from the swings before joining me by taking the seat next to me.

Woodrow had a smile on his face, masking what he really felt, and it wasn’t disappointment over me letting him down again. It was pity.

“Ah, fuck. I’m sorry. I told Woody I’d arrange a doctor’s appointment for you. I haven’t yet.”

“It’s okay,” his robotic voice replied.

“It’s not.”

“You’ve got a lot going on.”

“You’re my priority.”

Always have been since the day I got here. Woodrow was in and out of institutions back then, and he was a big part of why I got clean and stayed clean. I didn’t want that life for him. And if he had a stable family unit to come home to, he could stay home.

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