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The white walls felt like they’d close in on me at any given second. The padding promised to squash my bones and mind.
I’d hate to have to stay here. It would be a struggle for me.
It would be a struggle for her.
“She isn’t a danger to others.” I shook my head, staring at the once-loving girl and the fading bruises on her face. “And what you’re saying is she just has to stay in here, day in and day out, with nothing to do? I’m guessing you’d prefer boredom to end her life over her own hand?” I smoothed her blonde hair again, leaned forward, and placed a kiss on her forehead.
“That isn’t what I’m saying, and if, in time, we feel she can be trusted again, she will be able to earn back a little freedom, but in the meantime, I want her safe, and I’m assuming you do, too?”
I answered her stupid fucking question. “I want her more than safe. I want her happy.”
“That will, hopefully, happen in time, but it will take time, lots of it, and patience.”
“Yeah. I don’t have a lot of that. When do you expect her to wake up?”
“Possibly, a few more hours. She’s heavily sedated.”
“Fine. Well, I’ll be back tomorrow then. If she wakes before I get here, tell her I kept my promise and need her to do the same.”
“Will she know what that means?” The psych doctor wanted context, wanted the juicy details of what my relationship was with the woman in the bed.
But it was private, a secret between just us.
“She’ll know,” was all I said before I left Beyond Heaven, jumped in my car, and made my way back to Cat.
Doctor Rodregez sat in a wingback opposite Cat’s bed, which rested to the side of a bay window, harboring the image of a starry night and the field, moon kissed and lit up. The royal blue chair stood out against the white walls. He sat like doctors always sat, like he had a fucking stick up his ass, with his back straight. His face was emotionless, schooled to remain neutral when giving bad news. Like right now. Cat didn’t appear to be listening.
She shivered and cried silent tears.
The back of her hand wiped the first of many tears, but she let the rest fall to the blanket laid over her.
“There are options. It isn’t the end of the world.”
“What isn’t?” I entered with a waft of food, and Cat’s eyes instantly moved to me, as did Rodregez’s.
“You’re back. Are you ready for those stitches?”
Rodregez could get fucked if he thought he was ducking my question.
I ignored him.
Cat blinked back tears, and they dried up as if she was soothed by my presence.
It was challenging to face Cat and how small and vulnerable she looked swamped beneath my hoodie.
I stood in the doorway, keeping a safe distance from her because my morals were already testing me.
“What isn’t the end of the world?” I asked again. My eyebrow raised, and my sweat-soaked hair that fell into my face tickled as I waited for an answer.
Rodregez’s attention dwelled on Cat, and he tested her permission with a careful smile, which was also learned and not brought on by emotion.
She hadn’t given her permission when I cut in, but the truth was, I’d never waited for it in the past. Why start now? “Tell me.”
“If there’s anything you don’t want me to say, you can tell me, and I’ll stop.”
Cat’s pretty red hair caped around her shoulders as she bobbed her head.
The doc took a moment while I descended deeper into the room, feeling the bag in my hand get heavier under Cat’s hungry eyes.
