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Every movement, every feeling of sickness, every fear of having a child born here, but without that child, I felt empty, vacant, mournful.
Part of me was glad they never got to live…never had to know abuse and pain for their entire life.
“I’m so sorry,” I bawled, letting the guilt wash over me and bring me down, low enough for my tongue to touch his steel toe.
Daddy wore steel toes.
More tears rolled, grief overpowering everything.
I wish you were here to help me, Dad, I thought to myself.
“I knew you’d be sorry.” Rothbart assumed my apology was for him.
Like a coward, I didn’t correct him. I closed my eyes and tried to push happier thoughts into my head—Rothbart’s comeuppance with someone strong enough to fight back. Remi flashed into my head for reasons unknown. Would he help me again? Rothbart thought my death would bother him. Was he right?
His song filled my head.
She’s got this strength that cannot break,
A thousand blows and more to take…
I couldn’t take any more.
The metallic taste of mine and Rothbart’s combined DNA made me heave. I couldn’t think of this as a deceased child—as my own deceased child—as I licked up more of their blood from Rothbart’s boot.
Finally clean, he pulled his boot from me.
“You’re welcome.” Rothbart smiled, big white teeth blinding in this depressing room. “I did you a favor. It’s not like you’d be able to care for a child. Would you even be able to feed the damn thing with those ugly fucked up tits?”
Skinny arms wrapped around my knees as they came up to hide my uneven breasts.
“Luckily for you, you’ll never have to worry about that again.”
“Be grateful.” Candee yanked my head back and smiled down at me, her false teeth much cheaper than her rancid husband’s.
Giving me one last kick to the stomach that had me wailing, Rothbart spat down on me as he yelled at me like a misbehaving animal, “Get in your cage, Aribella!”
I didn’t even fight him.
I crawled into the cage and pulled the door closed behind me. I curled into myself and huddled against the sharp wire.
“I’ll be back to see you soon.” Rothbart left, hand in hand, with Candee, neither of them cleaning the room.
No one spoke as I cried, the sniffles of others echoing in the room.
Small fingers crept through the metal and tickled my bony knee.
“Are you okay, Aribella?” Callie continued tickling my leg.
Grabbing her fingers, I squeezed gently. Keeping my mouth closed to avoid vomiting all over the tiny space, I didn’t answer. My thumb moved over her soft hand. My eyes rolled closed, and for the first time ever, I didn’t care if they opened.
One violent memory swirled into another. The dark living room mourned as Callie lay on the floor, bleeding from almost every cavity—her nose, mouth, and between her skinny thighs.
And then she moved, trying to roll over on the floor.
“Get her back in her fucking cage,” Rothbart demanded.
Her eyes rained tears as Llewrehtom hoisted her over his shoulder and took her back to the kitchen.
