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Knowing I’d disappoint her, I probably should have slept it all off before showing up.
But I couldn’t wait to fucking see her. The tour lasted a week longer than it was fucking meant to. A few spontaneous shows that weren’t my idea had delayed my return.
Now, the shows were done for six months, and all the interviews, too. Alerion believed we’d use that time to get me clean for good.
I had news for him if he thought I was heading to rehab.
I wasn’t. I wasn’t leaving Cat.
Who’d have ever thought she’d be climbing into my arms on each visit, telling me how much she’d missed me.
I couldn’t wait for that.
Guilt from this morning’s breakfast climbed my throat. Six little bears, three rice paper treats that altered reality, all washed down with a bottle of Jack.
The only reason I was still doing that shit was because I needed the false highs to be around Alerion for so long, seeing as he’d decided to come on fucking tour with me, spending all four weeks watching me like a fucking hawk, making sure I actually stayed on fucking tour, bringing in all the pretty girls, and not bowing out early to see the one I’d personally escorted in.
He didn’t trust me, wondering what the image was in my wallet that kept me amused through every quiet moment.
The scars on his face told me such things each time I popped an unnecessary hallucinogen on my tongue and waited for it to dissolve before talking to him.
My eyes rolled, pushing the Devil from my thoughts, or trying to because I could literally feel him clinging to my skin now, and he wasn’t even here. I shook myself, battling off the invisible presence.
The doorframe caught me as I stumbled back, the wood hard on my protruding spine. The space around me was clear, no Devil or minions, just one monster, but Cedric’s regular face appeared as I straightened myself.
“I asked you a question.”
He had, and I’d ignored it.
Strapped together beneath a pink band, I pulled ten thousand dollars from my sweatshirt pocket and tossed it into his lap.
The dark shadows of his hallway welcomed me as I left the kitchen silently. The sound of his chair sliding across the tiles followed me. By the time my boots creaked on the steps, the worthless creep had his hand wrapped around mine on the handrail.
“Get off of me.”
“I’m surprised to see you back. A week later than you said. I thought you were gone for good.”
“Alerion extended the tour. I don’t exactly have you on speed dial.”
“No. You just show up when you please.”
“Exactly. So, why would I not come back? We have an agreement.”
“Well…” Cedric giggled, spitting all over me as he did.
I wiped away his brown saliva with the back of my sleeve, and I cringed, everything tightening as I saw the grime left there.
“Heard you were off your nut on the heavy stuff. I thought you might have forgotten the agreement.”
“And yet you seem to be the one having a hard time remembering it.”
The truth was, I’d never forget Cat, no matter what I shoved in my system. I couldn’t get over the woman who had never actually been under me.
That was something that would have to change soon. I was sick of the throbbing in my cock, and it wasn’t like I could put it anywhere else to relieve it. Women had tried hard to attract my attention on tour. I couldn’t walk through the damn hotels without someone throwing themselves at me.
But I wouldn’t sleep with any of them. It wouldn’t be right.
It wouldn’t be worth screwing this up.
