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Nana clicks her tongue. “Nonsense. What if you couldn’t walk up the stairs? They should have handicapped access.”
“I said it’s fine, Nana.”
“Forget it.” She crosses her arms over her chest, lifting her chin. “Let’s eat somewhere else.”
The hostess moves around the podium, and greets us with a smile. “Hi, folks. Will you be dining with us today?”
Before I can open my mouth, Nana answers. “We were thinking about dining with you, but my grandson is in a wheelchair. How do you suppose we get up these stairs?”
The girl’s smile fades as her eyes flick to my chair, and back to Nana. “Oh, I’m sorry. We—”
“You should be sorry,” Nana says. “This isn’t right. You’re excluding people from your establishment.”
“Nana, enough.” My voice comes out harsher than I’d planned, but she’s causing a scene and it’s only making things worse for me.
Charly places her hand on my forearm. “Bryce, what would you like to do?”
I clamp my jaw. “I will leave my chair out front, and we can sit at one of these outside tables.”
The hostess gives me an apologetic look. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience, sir. I can seat you close by.”
“Thank you.” I push out of my chair, and roll it to the side of the stairs.
So much for a nice, normal day.
After we get back from the festival, Charly heads into the kitchen to get started on dinner.
Nana hangs back, and pulls me into the hallway. “I’d like to finish our conversation from earlier.”
I scrub my hand over my jaw. “There’s nothing to finish.”
“Yes, there is. I’m sorry I upset you at the café. I was just trying to help.”
“Your help means treating me like I can’t make my own decisions. I told you I’d be fine walking up the stairs, but you had to make a production out of it. And what did you expect the hostess to do? It’s not her fault they didn’t have a ramp there.” I shake my head. “You never listen to me. I don’t need you to speak up for me. I’m not helpless.”
Nana places a hand over her heart. “I want to advocate for you. Is that so wrong?”
“You can advocate for me by supporting me in my own decisions, by asking me what I need. But you don’t. You just assume you know what’s best for me when you have no idea.”
Nana lowers her gaze. “I didn’t realize you felt that way.”
“You don’t realize because you don’t understand what it feels like to be me. Just like you don’t understand what I’m feeling when it comes to Charly.”
“So help me understand, Bryce.” Nana edges closer. “Talk to me.”
“Did you notice the woman who ran to her boyfriend today, and jumped into his arms?” I hold up each finger while rattling off the observations I made at the festival earlier. “Or when Kylie’s husband lifted his son, and sat him on his shoulders? How about the teenagers who raced each other to the dunk tank?” My breaths are clipped, the mounting anger and frustration climbing up my throat like caged animals who’ve been set loose. “No, I bet you didn’t. I did though. I notice everything. And normally, it doesn’t bother me. I’ve accepted the changes I’ve had to make in my life since I became disabled. I know it doesn’t make me any less of a human. My injury only affects me. But with Charly, it affects her too. The things I can’t do, the things she wants out of a boyfriend, or a husband, or shit, a father?” I shake my head. “I can’t give those things to her. And one day, she’ll realize that. She’ll realize it like everyone else did, and she’ll leave like everyone else did. So, I’m going to make it easy for her.”
Nana tilts her head, lips parted. “Oh, Bryce. You can’t punish her for the things people have done in your past.”
“I’m not punishing her. I’m sparing her.”
Nana swipes a tear from her cheek. “Don’t you see? The person who loves you will love you regardless of the things you can and can’t do. Charly doesn’t need someone to lift her into the air; she needs someone to lift her spirit. She doesn’t need someone to run with her; she needs someone who will sit beside her and hold her when times get tough. It’s not about the physical things, my boy. It’s about the things no one else can give her but you.” Another tear falls. “You’re comparing her to Ariel. Do you think that’s fair? Is Charly anything like Ariel?”
I look away, focusing on the picture of my parents hanging at the end of the hall. I know she isn’t like Ariel, but how will I know her feelings won’t change? How do I know she’ll still want to be with me over time?
“The worst thing you can do in life is make a decision from a place of fear. Your insecurities are just that—don’t let them rule you. Some people are going to hurt you. That’s the way life goes. Not everyone is meant to stay. But there are a few special ones who imprint themselves on your heart forever. And those are the people worth fighting for.” Nana clasps my hand, and squeezes it hard. “That sweet girl is worth the fight. You are worth the fight.”
Emotions strangle my airways, and blur my vision. My legs move before I tell them to, my body’s flight response telling me to get away. Away from the truth, away from the all-knowing eyes of my grandmother.
