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“You didn’t have to get me anything.” I wrap my arms around her shoulders. “Thank you.”
“I know you don’t feel like celebrating this year.” Jenny leads me to the couch, and places the bag in front of me. “But your mother wanted you to have this.”
Hot tears prick my eyes. “Mom planned this?”
Jenny nods. “She told me to hold onto it in case she wasn’t here to give it to you herself.”
A sob escapes me. “She should still be here. She had more time.”
“I know. It’s not fair.” Jenny sniffles, and nudges my leg. “Open it.”
I reach into the tissue paper, and pull out a yellow quilted duffle bag from Vera Bradley with a card dangling from the strap that reads, For your trip to Maine. Inside the duffle is a matching journal, and on the first page Mom wrote, This will help you savor all the fun memories you’re going to make. Remember, I’m with you always.
I smile as a tear rolls down my cheek. “I e-mailed the owner of the inn to confirm my trip.”
“That’s great.”
“She was very sweet. The About the Owner section of the website said that her husband of fifty years passed away due to a heart attack, so she decided to open her large estate to the public as a bed and breakfast to quell her loneliness.”
“Sounds like you two have something in common.” Jenny scrunches her nose. “Bed and breakfasts are so weird. I can’t imagine sharing my house with strangers.”
My eyes roam over the two-bedroom apartment I used to share with Mom. “It’s hard being alone when you’re used to living with someone who isn’t here anymore.”
Jenny sighs. “I’m sorry, Char.”
I blink away more tears as they threaten to brim over. “I want you to manage the diner while I’m gone.”
“Of course. You know I’ll hold down the fort.”
I smooth my hand over the duffle, making a mental checklist of the things I need to do before I leave.
Jenny props her elbows on her knees. “What did Greg say when you called him?”
I close my eyes, and let my head fall back against the couch. “I didn’t call him. I’m not ready to talk about everything yet.”
“Fine.”
“Thanks for being such a good friend.”
“Always.”
Jenny sticks a candle in my half-eaten ice cream, and sings off-key. We polish off the rest of the container, and then I shuffle into the bathroom to wash up for bed. Mom’s purple toothbrush still sits beside mine in the holder. I haven’t gotten rid of her belongings yet.
I promised Mom I would go on the trip because I didn’t want to spend our last moments together arguing. I didn’t think I’d actually go through with it. But staying here without her feels harder. It’s like someone cut her out of a photograph, and every time I look at it, all I can see is the gaping space she once filled.
Maybe some time away will help me move on.
Charly
“I miss you already. Why did you have to go so far away?”
One corner of my mouth tilts upward, despite the clench of my gut. “You know why.”
“I know, I know. I get it. But I don’t have to like it.”
“It feels weird being here alone.” Without Mom.
“I wish I could’ve come with you. I worry about you being up there all by yourself.”
