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I’m hit with the memory of Mom’s cold, frail hand on my tear-stained cheek the night she passed. “Go on an adventure. Experience life outside this city. Try new things, and meet new people. I want you to live your life to the fullest, Charly.”
Last year, Mom’s breast cancer metastasized. She’d battled it for so long, beating it each time it came back. But this time, her body was too tired to win the war. We all have shelf-lives. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. When it’s your time, it’s your time. It’s easier to handle a certainty like that when you have no clue when your number will be called. Once you’re given a timeframe though, everything changes. You’re a timer set to self-destruct, and the ticking gets louder with each passing day. That’s when I created a bucket list of silly things to do with Mom before she died. At the time, it was a happy distraction to get our minds off of the inevitable ending. Now, it only serves as a reminder of all the things Mom will never get to do. A reminder of a life cut too short.
My eyes trail down the list. “I should’ve cancelled the reservation at the bed and breakfast in Maine, but I haven’t had the nerve.”
“Don’t cancel it.” Jenny points to the fourth item on the list: Spend the summer in a new town. “Get out of here, and spend some time on your own. Enjoy the time away. Regroup. Then, you’ll feel refreshed when you come back.”
Getting away does sound enticing. Everything here reminds me of Mom.
An unexpected laugh bubbles out of me. “Mom wasn’t a fan of Greg. I bet she’s happy he’s out of my life.”
She never said it—she’d never want to sway me one way or another. But I always knew she didn’t like him. There wasn’t much with Mom that I didn’t inherently know.
“Besides laughing like a freak, what did you do when you caught him with Brenda?”
I grimace. “I said I was sorry, and then I got the hell out of there.”
“You apologized?” Jenny shakes her head. “What am I going to do with you?”
My phone lights up for the third time since I left Greg’s apartment. I watch it dance across the table as it vibrates. “I don’t know what to say to him.”
“I can think of a few things.”
Santiago, the owner of the diner, stops by our booth. “Jen, table four is ready for the check.” He turns to me. “You can’t stay away, even on your one night off. I thought you were going to spend your birthday with Greg.”
Oh, yeah. Did I mention my boyfriend cheated on me on my birthday?
“Greg was busy spending the night with someone else.” Jenny slides out of the booth, and scurries away before I can kick her.
Santiago takes her seat, and laces his fingers on the table. “What’s she talking about, mija?”
I stare down at the red lacquer tabletop. “Greg is cheating on me with his co-worker. I caught them in his apartment.”
“Qué cabrón.” His broad chest expands with his inhale. “I’m sorry, chiquita. Want me to kill him?”
I chuckle. “It’s okay. Really, Santi. Our relationship has been over for a while now.”
He leans forward, and covers both of my hands with his. “It’s his loss.”
“I don’t know about that.” I give him a sheepish smile. “I haven’t exactly been the best company lately.”
“You’ve been through a lot. A real man would understand that.”
“Maybe. I take responsibility for my part though. People don’t stray unless there’s a reason.”
“You’re too young to be this old.” Santiago’s eyes flick to Mom’s bucket list. “What’s next on the list?”
I tap the paper with my index finger. “Jenny thinks I should still go to Maine.”
“Your mother would be happy to see you go.” He scans the paper, and his eyes well. “It’s still hard to believe she’s gone.”
Santiago loved Mom, though he’s never admitted it. I could see it in his eyes when he looked at her. He’d light up like she was the best thing he’d ever seen. I think she felt the same, but she didn’t allow herself to get close enough to anyone because of the cancer. It broke my heart knowing she purposely pushed love aside because she knew she wouldn’t be alive for it to last.
I bite my bottom lip to keep it from quivering. “I don’t know. It doesn’t feel right.”
“Well, don’t let us sway your decision. You know Jenny can step in as manager while you’re gone, and I’m hiring an extra waitress for the summer regardless.” He gives my hand a squeeze. You need a break. Take care of yourself. This place will still be here when you come back. ¿Entiendes?”
“Yes, sir.”
