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“I wish I could be more like her.”
“You’re more like her than you realize. You just have to trust your heart.”
“It’s not that easy, Dad. You have to listen to your brain. Your brain is what keeps you safe.”
“Then I guess you need to decide if you want to play it safe, or if you can try to be brave. Safe will keep you protected, for the most part. Safe will give you a fine life. Brave, on the other hand, could give you opportunities and experiences that you would never have known if you didn’t take the chance. Your mother believed that life was about taking chances.”
“I am careful. I am safe. I don’t know how to be any other way.”
“I imagine Tanner feels the same way.”
“What do you mean?”
“He’s angry and hurting. He doesn’t know what to do with it, and he doesn’t know how to be any different. You came along and changed his whole world. He needs more time to adjust.” Dad looked down at his hands. “People are going to make mistakes, Charlotte. It’s how we learn, and grow, and change.
“I know you hate feeling pain; you were so young when you lost your mother. But you can’t shut pain out. You can’t shut people out. Sometimes, you have to be brave and give someone another chance to prove that he won’t do it again.”
I knew he was talking about more than just Tanner. I leaned over and wrapped my arms around him. Tears stung my eyes, and I hugged him tighter.
“I’m sorry for ruining things between us,” Dad said, his tears wetting my shoulder. “I don’t want you to hate me forever.”
“I’m sorry, too,” I choked out. “I don’t hate you. I just want things to be like they used to.”
He held me out in front of him. “Then give me that chance. We’re all we have. Just you and me. I don’t want to lose you. I know I made a horrible mistake, but I need you to forgive me.”
We often look at our parents like superheroes. We think they can do no wrong. They raise us, protect us, and care for us. Then, we get to a certain age and realize our parents are only humans. They make mistakes, just like we do. They don’t know what they’re doing any more than we do. This realization is like a slap in the face. Another betrayal. First, there’s no Santa. Now, you’re telling me that my parents make mistakes?
What we need to practice isn’t how to be perfect. We’re all trying to figure out our lives, and we’re all going to make mistakes. What we need to practice more of is forgiveness.
Looking into my father’s eyes, I knew it was the right thing to do. My father was the only man I had ever loved, and he was the only family I had. Even though he’d betrayed my trust, he was still my father. I couldn’t control what happened to my mother, but I could control where my relationship with my father went.
And sometimes, when a girl gets her heart broken, the only thing she needs is her dad.
* * *
“This is going to be so much fun!”
I swallowed hard as I looked at the gym from inside my car.
Mallory’s shoulders slumped. “Why do you look like you’re going to puke? You’re the one who wanted to do this.”
I fixed my face and shot her a look. “I’m fine.”
I’d seen a flyer at school for a self-defense class at the nearby gym. As a teenager, I’d always wanted to go to one. It would be fun to learn how to kick someone’s ass, Carla and I would say. I didn’t think I would ever need to defend myself in order to stay alive.
Now, I did.
So I asked Mallory to join me, knowing she would be on board, no questions asked.
When we stepped through the gym doors, we were hit with a musty smell. So many things were going on at once in different areas of the open space, I stopped to take it all in. From young co-eds to gray-haired men, all walks of life threw punch after punch at long, black punching bags hanging from the ceiling. Some flipped giant-sized tires, while others slapped ropes against the floor. Everyone glistened with sweat. Everyone looked like they knew what they were doing.
As intimidating as it was, I felt a bubbling in my gut. Gun, check. Ass-kicking skills, here we go.
“Hello, ladies. Welcome to my gym.”
I snapped my head toward the deep voice. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mallory’s mouth fall open. I think I even heard a gasp escape her lips. Before us stood a tall, muscular man covered in tattoos. Arms, legs, ribcage. Even his knuckles and neck were tattooed. The only place that wasn’t inked was his face. Chiseled jaw, ice-blue eyes, and dimples that framed his Colgate commercial smile. His cut-off tank- top revealed his incredible physique. I’d heard of a six-pack before, but this man’s stomach had muscles I didn’t even know existed. He was an odd mixture of beauty and badassery.
He held his hand out. “I’m the owner. My name is TJ.”
