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“Who do you need protection from?”
I took a shaky breath before answering. I needed to get my story straight so it sounded believable. I did need it for protection; it wasn’t a lie. “I come from a small town. I was scared to move to a city like Staten Island. My best friend, Carla, suggested I get a gun.” I tried to appear nonchalant as I shrugged. “It’s for protection.”
The way Tanner looked at me, I could tell he wasn’t buying it. “Do you know how to use that thing?”
“Just point and shoot, right?” Why wasn’t he pressing this further?
He blew out a puff of air and his lips slowly spread into a grin. “You can’t give a guy the best kiss of his life and then pull a gun on him.”
“Maybe that will keep you in line.”
Tanner leaned in, caressing my face. “With a kiss like that, I am putty in your hands.” He covered my lips with his, kissing me one last time. “Good night, my sweet girl.”
“Good night, Tanner.” A shiver ran through me, my entire body covered in goose bumps. “Thank you for tonight.”
I took my wobbly legs upstairs and tiptoed quietly into my apartment. Dad had fallen asleep watching TV as he did most nights. He stirred when I locked the door behind me.
“Sorry, Dad. Didn’t mean to wake you.”
He smiled, rubbing the sleepiness from his eyes. “It’s okay. I want to hear how your night was.”
I sat on the couch armrest. “It was great.”
“You went on a date, didn’t you?”
“I did.”
“Who’s the lucky guy?”
Tanner’s kiss had weakened my defenses. My guard was down, and my heart was exposed. “His name is Tanner. His family owns the auto body shop where I bought my car.”
“Ah, so that’s where you met him.”
I nodded. “I’m really tired. I’m going to call it a night.”
Dad reached out and gave my arm a squeeze.
Once in my bed, I replayed each second from the night as I stared at the flowers on my dresser. Was Tanner in bed doing the same? As the tingling throughout my body faded away, the guards at the gates of my heart began pulling the drawbridge closed.
Losing a parent at a young age, you learn not to get too close to people. If your own mother could be taken from you, no one was secure in your life. For months, my parents had told me: “Everything is going to be okay.” They lied to protect me from the heartbreaking truth. I was only five years old when my mother died, and I couldn’t make sense of it. Why did they lie? Why didn’t they tell me what was going to happen so I could prepare for it?
The older I grew, I learned it was easier to keep people at arm’s length. If I didn’t let people in, they couldn’t hurt me. If I didn’t trust people, I couldn’t fall prey to their lies. The only person I’d let get close to me in eighteen years had been Carla. How I wanted to call her right now. She’d have the perfect thing to say to ease my worries. I wanted to share my new life with her.
But what would she say about what I’d done to get this new life?
Moreover, what would Tanner think? He thought he liked me, but he didn’t know the real me. He liked the version of me I was portraying. The truth slapped me in the face: I had trust issues, yet I was the one who couldn’t be trusted.
Eight
Tanner
The bell on the door sounded, and Charlotte snatched her phone out of Mallory’s hands when she saw me walk in. I knew she was showing her my text from this morning. That made me happy to see. She’d never admit it.
“Hi, Tanner,” Mallory said in a singsong voice.
“Hi, Mal,” I sang back. I curled my finger signaling for Charlotte to come to me.
She glanced at the kitchen door as she scurried around the counter. I wrapped my arms around her and spun in a circle before setting her down. I pressed my lips against hers, and an electric shock zapped through me the way it had last night. I wanted to lay her on the counter and make love to every inch of her body. Mallory could watch. I didn’t care.
