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While I’m taking a shower my thoughts move back to Hazel once more as they always do. I haven't been able to think of anything else. Maybe it's because she's been busy working, and we haven't seen each other in a while. Yeah, that's probably it, I just need to see her. I need her to remind me how we're friends and friends only.
The problem is that Hazel is the only thing that keeps me balanced. The longer we are apart the harder and harder it is to hold on to any kind of peace. Especially with how hard my dad keeps pushing me with the fights and the gambling. When it’s too much, the thoughts of Hazel that infiltrate my mind, don’t help.
The deeper I fall into the darkness, the more I need her even though I shouldn’t. I should try to keep her far away from me, and my messed-up life.
Chapter three
Hazel
As I step outside to get into my car, cool crisp air wraps around me, making me shiver. It’s like Mother Nature is giving our small-town of Rose Valley a hint that winter is on our heels, that it's a time for change. Looking down the street where my car is parked, the leaves on the trees that were once green, have now changed to different shades of yellow, red and brown. They bring a smile to my face. I love the way they litter the ground, like natural sprinkles. Fall is my favorite time of year. Pumpkins, carnivals, candied apples, all of it brings me joy and makes everything feel so magical.
Starting my car, my hands start to sweat and my breathing shallows. The closer I get to meeting Dex at the fair, the more my nerves get the best of me. “Come on, Hazel. He’s your best friend. You can tell him," I mutter giving myself a much needed pep talk.
As I drive to the carnival my heart starts to beat faster and faster as my stomach flips the closer and closer I get to the fairgrounds. I can't believe I'm going to confess my feelings toward him.What if he doesn't feel the same? What if he does?I'm not sure which one would be better at this point.
I’ve known the dark-haired boy since I moved in down the street, fourteen years ago. When I was eight and he was ten. The first day I met him, we were both swinging on the monkey bars at school.
Billy, another boy at school, came up to me while I was waiting my turn and pushed me down. He yelled at me, “Girls aren’t strong enough to be on the monkey bars.”
Which is total horseshit since I was able to get across them faster than any of the boys. Most of them couldn’t even make it all the way across.
Dexter wasn’t having it. Even though I was the new kid and he didn’t know me, he came over and punched Billy in the face. “You're so dumb. Girls can be strong too.”
Afterward, he helped me up and introduced himself. “Hi, my name is Dexter.”
I couldn’t help smiling at him. “I’m Hazel. I just moved into the neighborhood.”
From that day forward we were inseparable.
I pull up to the carnival and the parking lot is full tonight, it's as if everyone from our small town is here. Thankfully, I'm able to find a spot close to the front. Someone must've just left. The delicious scent of apple cider hangs in the air, that always brings me joy. If Rose Valley knows how to do one thing right, it's throwing the fall carnival together. Taking a deep breath, I let the wonderful fall smell seep into my lungs, helping me to relax a bit.
Nearing the Ferris wheel, I see Dexter waiting for me. He doesn’t notice me right away, engrossed in whatever is on his phone. I use his distraction unabashedly look him over from afar.
Shit. He is gorgeous. Just seeing him gives me tingles in all the right places. Even in his black jeans with holes in the knees and basic white tee, he takes my breath away. It helps the sleeves of his shirt are molded to his muscular biceps, showing off the black ink that wraps around them.
I can’t seem to stop myself as I drink in all of him. I’ve never been more attracted to someone. Dexter is my type: dark, handsome, and lots of ink. He is a bad boy personified.
The longer I drool over him, dirty thoughts start to infiltrate my mind. My cheeks burn and my core clenches as I picture him down on his knees with my leg wrapped around his shoulder, looking up at me as he grins while I wait for what comes next. The universe is punishing me with these thoughts because I've waited so long to tell him.
I blink away the dirty image and bring myself to the present. I need to keep my mind clear so I can get through my confession without muddling anything. Fantasizing about him in compromising positions is not helpful.
Dexter must sense me because he suddenly looks up from his phone scanning the area. When he sees me standing close by, a soft smile stretches across his gorgeous face. It sets off the butterflies that were finally settling in my stomach and giving me the courage to walk over to him. I love the softer side of Dexter that he only shows me. Most people see Dexter Hernandez as a cruel hard-ass.
He comes from a rough household. His mother was murdered when he was young, a lot of rumors still swirl around it. Some say it has to do with his father's association with The Wolves. Others say that it was just a tragedy that still hangs over Rose Valley. No one knows the real reason but either way it resulted in Dexter having a lot of anger issues. His older brother Mateo, his younger brother Alex, and he would get into trouble at times, especially fights. It started out as just wrestling and pushing when we were younger, but as we got older, those around us started to fear the Hernandez brothers.
His gaze can't stop trailing me up and down my frame. Is he checking me out? My chest tingles from the heat that my body is creating, from his stare. If I looked down, redness would be crawling up my skin. Usually, I can read Dex well, but tonight he seems off. I swear I see something different in his eyes, but just as soon as I think I see it, it’s gone.
“Hey, Haze. Ready to get your carnival on?” The playful tone in his voice catches my attention pulling my gaze up to his face.
The words to reply seem to be stuck in my throat, my nerves getting the best of me, so I merely nod my head. I just need to get on the Ferris wheel.
Dex laughs as he steps right into my space, not realizing my discomfort, as he places his lips against my ear and playfully chuckles. “Cat got your tongue?”
Gosh that laugh. Goosebumps break out all over my body as my clit starts to tingle and my nipples pebble. Fuck the way he uses his full body to laugh does something to me.
I try not to think about it too much and shrug. If I answer, he'll see how nervous and turned on I am right now. All I can think about is how this first ride could change everything.
We hand the carnival attendant our tickets that Dexter must’ve grabbed before I got here. As I sit, my legs brush against his. My whole body ignites with a familiar underlying buzzing, mixed with the needy feeling from a minute ago and I feel a little lightheaded. Needing a minute, I stare out into the night and take a deep breath.
