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“Haze, you don’t need to worry about me. Sometimes I fight for money and this last one was harder than I thought. I need to rest, and I’ll be better in a few days.” I speak softly to her, partly because it hurts to speak and partly because I need to approach this delicately.
I can tell that I've hurt her as she draws her eyebrows in, and her lips pinch together, she asks, “Why are you fighting for money? Do you need help? I can help you if you need it.”
I shake my head. “No Baby, I don't need any money."
"B…but you said you we're fighting for money? What's going on Dexter?"
"I can’t tell you.”
Her hands tremble as she gets up and leaves the room without a word. Shit, is she leaving me? Is this too much? I listen closely to determine where she is in the house. I don’t hear the slam of the front door allowing me to breathe some. Hopefully that's a good sign. Hazel walks back into the room with some bagged ice, painkillers, and a glass of water.
“Here, take these.” She curtly directs me as she pushes the water and painkillers into my hands. Once I take them from her, she places the ice pack on my ribs. I try not to wince but by the worried lines that are etched on her forehead I can tell that I've failed. The bruises on my ribs are the biggest on my body. There are still unshed tears in Hazel’s eyes, but I can tell that she's trying to blink them away. She's trying to be strong.
I place my hand on top of hers. “You know I’m going to be okay right?”
Her lip quivers and she refuses to look at me. “I don’t like that you're fighting. It hurts me to see you hurting yourself. Maybe if you tell me…”
I cut her off before she can even finish that sentence. “No. I won’t tell you. Stop asking me Hazel.”
She sniffles and I feel like an asshole, so I pat the bed next to me. She climbs in and I hold her. “Hazel, just hold me. That's what I need.”
As we settle into the bed, my eyes start to droop. I fall asleep with Hazel on my chest and feeling as if everything will be alright in the morning. There's a faint buzzing in the background but ignore it.
I jerk awake and look over at the clock, it’s three in the morning. That’s when I hear the close of a car door. The other side of the bed is empty. In her place is a note.
Dexter,
I can’t do this. Watching you hurt yourself over and over is too much for me. I will always love you.
-Hazel.
There's a wet spot on the note from her tears. I try to get up to grab my phone to call her. My body protests, but I’m finally able to grab it. The line rings and goes to voicemail. I text her.
Me: Baby, call me.
Me: Don’t do this, Hazel.
Me: Hazel you will get your ass back here, now.
As I reread the last three text, I send her my stomach drops at how demanding I got in the last one. Fuck I hope I didn't scare her away for good with being an asshole.
Three days later and still no answer from Hazel. My body is healing. I can move around without being in too much pain and the bruises on my body have turned to a yellow greenish color.
I have been calling and texting Hazel nonstop the last few days and nothing. I haven't been able to eat or sleep well since she left me. The longer she's gone the more my blood boils. Why would she leave me? I’m not sure what to think.
I was hoping that she would give me a chance to explain, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. Today when I call her, I get a tinny voice saying the number is disconnected. A numbing feeling starts to grow within my body. Fuck! Why is she doing this?
Knowing I need to find her, I go to her apartment, but no one answers. I check the time; Hazel should be home from work by now. She used to say her neighbor was nosy and drove her nuts. That might work in my favor right now.
Before I can stop myself, I’m knocking on the neighbor’s door. I ask if she knows anything about where Hazel could be. The old lady looks me up and down before she responds, “Why do you want to know?”
I respond with a simple, “I love her and need to find her.”
The old lady’s eyes soften, and she must take pity on me, “I’m sorry young man. Hazel moved out yesterday.”
My stomach churns at the thought of Hazel leaving. I never thought that she would do this to me. But I don't show her that I nod and head toward my car. So many thoughts are going through my head, but the main one is I can’t believe Hazel would do this to me.
Needing to release this anger from inside me, I swing by the gym. I need to hit something.
