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“There you are,” he murmurs against my ear before pressing his lips against my neck. “I was wondering where you disappeared to.”
I laugh softly as I rest the back of my head against his shoulder. “Where did you think I would have gone?”
“I don’t know,” he says quietly, with a hint of reservation in his tone. "Anywhere but here."
The way he says the words, his tone laced with sadness, has me feeling a little unsettled. My mind begins to run wild and anxiety begins to build in my veins as I question everything that has happened between us in the past twelve hours.
"Should I have left?"
Leo drags his nose against the shell of my ear. "I wouldn't be mad if you did."
What?
My body is on high alert and dread floods me as I push away from the railing, moving him with me. Straightening my spine, I stand up straight, clutching the sheet in my hands as I spin around to face him. "What do you mean?"
Leo stares at me for a moment, tucking his hands into the front pockets of his jogger pants. My eyes betray me, traveling over the dips and curves of his chiseled torso and toned arms before reaching his eyes again. Damn him for looking the way he does. I can't decide if I'd rather kiss him or go slash his tires.
"I mean, I would get it if you left. I don't know what I'm doing here, Ari." He shrugs with simplicity, although there's a hint of pain woven in the golden flecks of his irises. "Things like this—they don't last."
I'm floored by his response—and not in a good way. Every syllable is like a dagger to my already bleeding heart.
"I see," I say softly, attempting to conceal the torment that threatens to wreak havoc. "This is the last time any of this happens between us, Leo. I'm done riding this roller coaster with you until you know exactly what it is that you want."
"What?" He tilts his head to the side, the color draining from his face as he sets his lips in a firm line. "I never said I don't want you." He lets out a frustrated breath as confusion mixes in his expression. "We're not on a roller coaster."
"Yes, we are," I argue, feeling the tears prick the corners of my eyes. "You give me whiplash, Leo. One moment, you're keeping me at arm’s length and you hate me. The next, you're pulling me into your orbit." I pause, shaking my head as I can feel my facade cracking. "I won't do it. I won't just be a toy for you to break."
"I don't want to break you."
I level my gaze on his, feeling the defeat in my shoulders. "I don't think you know what you want."
"I know what I want," he retorts, the muscle in his jaw tightening. "You're no saint, Aria Reed. You've been playing the same fucking games, giving me the same mixed signals."
"I know," I let out a shaky breath. "I've tried to hate you, but I can't anymore. When I'm around you, nothing else matters. When I'm not around you, you're the only person I want to be around. I fucking hate it." My lungs deflate. "I want more than this with you, Leo."
His eyes widen and shock settles in them. "Wait, what?"
I've already said too much. I've shown my cards and I have nothing left to play. All there is are my truths hanging heavily in the salty air between us. Turning on my heel, I walk back to the door and push it open before I look back at him one last time.
"Aria," he says softly, my name a plea as his eyes search mine. Pain is etched in his features, and I know this is what I have to do. If I respect myself in the slightest bit, I have to let him go. I can't keep falling into bed with him and act like it can be something casual.
I'm not a casual person.
I need more than a hookup.
"I need to go," I tell him, instantly feeling regret, but I can't let that fuel my decision. "I'll see you at the rink."
"Please, don't go," he says with panic in his tone. I hate the way his face looks right now. Like he’s begging me to stay while his chest is cracking wide open. "Not like this."
I shake my head at him. I can’t keep giving in to him. "I need space."
"You mean space from me," he says with hurt lacing through his words. His face momentarily falters and I don’t miss the coldness as it settles in his expression.
I nod, blinking back my tears. "I can't think straight when I'm around you."
A harsh scoff escapes him. "You say it like you're the only one who's fucked up right now."
"How are you fucked up?"
