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“You don’t have to go if you don’t feel up to it,” Daniel added. “I could go and bring you something back.”
“It’s fine. We have a few hours and I’ll be good by then.”
It wasn’t a lie. It was possible that she would be fine by then.
Just unlikely.
“I’ll just go sit on the deck,” she said. “Come find me if you need me.”
She went outside, thinking the salty air would calm her nerves. It didn’t. All she could think about was how Daniel had looked at her like she could explode at any moment.
And how she couldn’t get her shit together long enough to make him believe she was fine.
She bit her tongue, hating that she hadn’t kept it together as well as she’d wanted. This was why she was better off alone.
But slowly, she began to feel her medicine do its work. Sounds became less intense. She grew to enjoy the noise of the ocean again. But she felt like a bruise after the rough start to the day, and the guilt for not being normal lingered.
The door slid open and a glass of water appeared in her line of sight.
“Here,” Daniel offered. “If you have a headache. This might help. I’m sure you don’t want me to bother you, but I wanted to do something.”
She slowly took the glass. Damn it. He was being so nice.
“Thank you,” she replied. He turned to leave, and she realized she wasn’t ready for that. “You could stay, if you wanted to.”
He paused. “Are you sure?”
“I am.” She moved over to give him more space. He scanned her face, as if looking for a lie. When he sat, she took it as a small win. “I’m sorry for acting weird. Target was . . . a lot.”
“It was for me too.”
“And I really did rush up here to take medicine,” she added. “It’s already helping.”
“I know.”
Her eyes traced over the tense line of his shoulders. “Are you okay?”
“I’m not going to bother you with my problems when you’re not feeling well.”
“I’m getting better,” she reassured. “And besides, it would be nice to be out of my own head for a bit.”
“It doesn’t feel right.”
“I’m asking. Please.”
That seemed to do it. He let out a long sigh before speaking. “I guess when you weren’t feeling well, I was nervous. Not because of anything you did, but because I was waiting for you to turn it on me.”
“Wait, why would I turn my feelings on you?”
“Because I suggested going to Target? Because I didn’t leave sooner? I don’t know. But it feels like my fault somehow.”
“It’s not.”
“Even if it’s not, would it matter? It never did before.”
“Oh,” Amelia said. “Like with Lucinda.”
“Yeah,” he admitted quietly. “That’s what life with her was like.”
