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Lena shifts into human form and immediately bows as I approach her. The children stay still and go quiet. It’s more than obvious she’s still startled and they’re cautious as well. I offer them a smile and without hesitation sit in front of my mate cupping her chin and kissing her sweet lips as soon as she raises her head. Tension breaks in an instant and her body relaxes.
I hate her submission and her fear of me. I’m determined to break it.
“I saw you were angry.” Her eyes stay on my lips as she speaks. I wish she’d look me in the eyes. I stay on the ground in front of her and kiss her again. I revel in the fact that she kisses me back and relaxes in my embrace.
“Nothing you need to worry about, baby.” I smile again at her niece and nephew, and they smile back with toothy grins. It only takes a prod from Lizzie and Grace to play chase and Addy yells out a squeal and starts barking and running. Reece attempts to chase her but trips over his little legs. He squeals and gets up quickly to follow his big sister.
I grin at them and watch as Addy runs circles around Reece. “You’d think he’d shift so he could keep up.”
“We weren’t permitted to shift.” Lena looks uncomfortable as she speaks, and as much as I’m shocked, I’m grateful for her admission. My teeth bite down hard, and I struggle to relax. It takes everything in me to contain my anger.
“Do they know how?” I can’t believe he’d hurt their wolves like that. At least they’re young so the damage will be minimal.
“Addy did once.” Her words are soft and coated in sadness. I rein in my anger once again before wrapping an arm around her and pulling her between my legs. She turns her body to face the children but looks over my shoulder at Lizzie and Grace. Devin’s whispering in Grace’s ear and making her blush. It’s not hard to guess that he’s bribing her with a baby of her own as she passes the little boy to Lizzie. I can see Lena’s fingers twitch to hold her baby.
“I think she might keep him if you don’t go get him.” I whisper, teasing her. A quick flash of fear crosses her faces before she shakes her head, and the hint of a smile shows on her face. She rises, but keeps her eyes on me, as if she expects me to stop her. I kiss her thigh as she reaches for her dress, slipping it on easily. Lizzie sees Lena approaching and mocks a pout before giving the baby a quick kiss on the forehead. She smiles brightly as she holds the little boy up for Lena.
Listening to the children play and watching my mate cuddle our baby makes me yearn for an even bigger family. It reminds me that I’ve yet to claim my mate. The full moon will be here soon, and I want to make sure she knows I intend to claim her. That bastard mark from Shadow will be ruined as soon as I get a chance to scar over it.
She settles beside me and raises the wiggly baby to her breast. “Just in time.” She sighs happily as he latches.
“I want to claim you on the full moon.” I’m almost ashamed of how blunt I am. Her smile falls.
She seems scared to speak but finally she answers. “I don’t want that.”
Shocked by her statement, a crushing weight comes down over me. I lean forward in the grass to get closer to her, to ask why and to try to understand, and I immediately curse myself as she hunches her shoulders. As if she’s preparing for a blow. I slowly put my arm around her and kiss her shoulder.
Although I’m saddened by her admission, I’m grateful she’s at least being honest and no longer censoring herself. I need to find out why though. I need to destroy whatever is standing in her way of accepting me. I don’t know what would become of me if I cannot claim my mate.
“Does it matter that much that I’m not an Alpha? Are you ashamed of me?” I know the seers promised her an Alpha as a mate. My chest pains with the thought that she doesn’t see me as a worthy mate.
She stares back at me as she rocks the little one who is quietly eating. “You’re not the first to tell me I’m your mate.”
“He had no right.” I check my anger and calm myself. That bastard is dead. There’s nothing more I can do regarding him and I refuse to speak his name. “Don’t you feel a pull to me,” I whisper, “even just a little?” I remember the moment we had in the bedroom and pray she felt it too. I wait with bated breath as her hazel eyes find mine. She nestles into my side and sighs. I love the contact and so does my wolf.
“Yes.” She barely whispers with her eyes closed. My heart soars in my chest. A weight lifts off my shoulders and I feel my lips pull into a grin, but it’s quick to fall.
“Then why won’t you let me claim you?” If she feels the pull than it will only get stronger as the moon approaches.
“I’m scared,” she answers in a hushed voice, staring at the ground rather than at me.
I can’t help but to push for more. “Why are you so afraid? I won’t treat you like Shadow did. You have to know that.”
She shakes her head. “You’ve already treated me with more kindness than he ever did.”
“Then why don’t you want me to claim you?”
“The burn.” Her hand not holding her baby rises to the mark on her neck as tears well in her eyes.
I’ve heard it can hurt. I’ve also heard it’s nothing but pleasure. All I know is that it must happen for our bond to be complete. “I promise I won’t hurt you as your mate.”
Although she nods and seems to agree, I can see it in her eyes that she doesn’t want to be claimed. She doesn’t trust that I won’t let her suffer the pain on her own. A deep hurt settles in my chest.
“Think about it?” I ask her. “For me.”
She stares back at me, as if seeing through me, before promising, “I will.”
JUDE
