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The reminder of last night and the look on Gabriel’s face as he walked out of the house wipes the smile and the earlier feelings away.
Gabe has been asking for Hulk since I woke him up this morning. I grab his plate off the counter and walk it over to the table.
“I don’t know, Gabe.” I say placing his plate of fruit and sausage in front of him.
He pushes the plate away from him. “I want Hulk.”
I take a deep breath because I know my son is only acting out because he’s confused. This is the reason I don’t often make changes to his daily routine.
Sliding the plate back in front of him I take a seat beside him.
“Give me your eyes,” I ask.
He turns to look at me. His eyes are so much like his father’s. Although they aren’t the same seafoam green, they are the same shape.
“Hulk is a very busy man. Some days he will be here when you wake up, but some days he won’t be. We have to be patient and understanding to that. Okay?”
He looks down at his hands but nods his head.
“Eat your breakfast so you can finish getting ready for school.”
I go back over to the sink, closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. I can only hope that Gabriel will come back. That look in his eyes before he left haunted me all night. I know he’s looking for any reason to prove he isn’t fit to be around his son. I just can’t accept that. Especially when I know he’s more than capable.
If I hadn’t heard from him by noon today, I was going to call him.
“Hulk,” Gabe says happily.
I turn to find Gabriel standing in my kitchen. He’s wearing new clothes and looked freshly showered. His hair is pulled back in a low bun. His shorter front pieces fell in his eyes. Never had I seen a more beautiful man. My words made true by the pounding of my heart at just the sight of him. It doesn’t matter how flawed he is, there is no one more stunning.
For what seems like an eternity, neither of us speak. We only stare at one another. For a moment I wonder what he’s thinking. Can he see the sleepless night in my face? Does the way my heart races for him show up in my eyes? Because I’m looking at him so hard, I notice when his gaze drops down to my neck. I quickly place my hand over it, touching it gently.
I peel my eyes away from Gabriel to look at my son. “Gabe, it’s time to go brush your teeth and finish getting ready.”
My son quickly gets up and runs out of the kitchen. I grab his plate off the table.
“Where did you go last night?” I take the plate to the sink giving him my back.
“I’m renting a small apartment not far from here.”
I take a deep breath before turning around. I’m startled to find him standing right in front of me. I press myself back into the sink. He lifts his hand to touch my neck and I flinch. Not because I’m afraid of him, but because it’s very tender today. Of course that’s not what he thinks. His hand drops back to his side.
“I’m sorry,” his voice is so low I wouldn’t have heard him if he wasn’t standing in front of me. “If you want me to stay away, I will.”
“If I thought you were actually going to hurt me, you wouldn’t be in my house right now.”
“But you’re afraid of me.” He looks directly into my eyes when he makes this statement.
Did I think he could hurt me if he wanted to? Yes. Did I think he would? I’m not sure. I don’t think he would ever intentionally do anything to harm me or Gabe. But I can’t ignore his issues. I’m not an idiot.
“Let’s not worry about last night,” I say instead. “You can go with me to take Gabe to school.”
He’s shaking his head before I can finish my statement. “You saw what happened last night.”
“Yeah, I did. And we are both here today to talk about it so it’s all good.”
He runs a hand down his nose toward his chin. “Summer,”
“Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean you can run, Gabriel.”
