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“If you decide not to do anything with your degree in counseling, you can always go into making jewelry your full-time gig.”
I smile at the complement and duck my head. It’s not that I haven’t heard it before. Summer Designs have been incredibly successful. Who knew I had the talent and the eye for jewelry design. However, the shyness comes by way of not being used to being told I’m good at something. That’s all new.
Picking up my glass of water, I take a sip.
“Now how is that dating project going?”
I immediately choke on the water in my mouth. I place the cup back down and take a few minutes to pat my chest to keep from dying.
Shay watches me, a smirk on her face.
Of all the suggestions Shay has given me over the years, dating has been the only one I haven’t been able to adapt to.
“I…uhhh….it’s going.”
She lifts a brow and cocks her head. She doesn’t believe me. I don’t blame her because I’m lying.
I know what this looks like. To someone outside looking in, it seems as if I’m still hung up over Gabriel and that isn’t true. Did he show me more kindness in that one night with him than I’d received my entire life. Yes. Was the sex, even as unexperienced as he was, the best fucking sex I’d ever had. Goodness yes. However, I am not caught up on Gabriel.
“Have you been out in these dating streets?” I ask glancing at the beautiful diamond wedding set on her ring finger. “It’s like a zombie apocalypse out here. Everyone is walking around aimlessly just trying to rub their body parts against each other.”
She laughs but quickly covers it up with her hand.
“It’s not that bad.”
I roll my eyes. “Holding a conversation with some men is the equivalent of having your brains eaten. And if one more man asks me what I’m bringing to the table or call themselves high valued, I may purposely go back to drugs.”
This time she tosses her head back and laughs. Although I was making a joke, it isn’t funny. The dating pool definitely had chlamydia infested piss in it. Not that I was that much of a catch. I was indeed an ex-druggy single mother. But damn.
“What about the Mechanic you were dating a couple months ago?”
“Ugh. We went out on two dates, and he kept trying to get me to meet his momma,” I say folding my arms over my chest.
“A little early,” she shrugs. “But there is nothing wrong with that.”
“She’s dead.”
She once again places her hand over her mouth to cover her smile.
Honestly, most of the men I meet never make it past the first date. The few that have, never make it longer than two months. And trust me, I am definitely the problem.
Every guy I’ve met these last five years has not held my attention. Even the few that made it to a second date. They all seem to lack something, but I don’t know what it is.
If I could maybe figure out what the hell I’m looking for in these men, I might be able to make this dating thing work for me.
“Honestly,” I say, shaking my head. “I’d much rather put my time and energy on my business and my baby boy.”
The day I realized I was going to be a mother was the day my life changed. I had all the reasons in the world to not keep my son. I mean, I found out I was pregnant by a one-night stand while in rehab. However, as I glanced down at that little pee stick, I remember thinking, for the first time I had something worth fighting for. The day August Gabriel Jones came into this world is the day I found my purpose.
“Part of your recovery is learning how to deal with and maintain healthy relationships. Dating is crucial. Besides, I think it will help you get over that last hurdle.”
I’ve only briefly told Shay about my night with Gabriel. Of course, I left out a lot of key details. It’s hard to downplay being held captive, your life being threatened, and the number of murders I witnessed. That would have surely ended with me being in a strait jacket or prison. However, she knows he played a huge role in my recovery process.
“Do you want my opinion?” She asks once my silence has gone on longer than expected.
Not really.
“Sure,” I reply instead of the truth.
