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That’s another sign that tells me my sister doesn’t fucking know me. Making light of horrible situations is my default setting.
Exhaling my frustration, I rake a hand down my face. “What do you want me to say Rai? It’s not like you’ll believe me anyway.”
They never do. Her and mother are always quick to expect the absolute worst from me. If I told her the truth, she would still find a way to blame me. I’m the druggy fuck up of the family. Just like daddy, as they like to remind me. Anytime anything goes wrong, I’m the one to blame. The facts never matter to them.
Raina’s mouth sinks into a frown as she looks to her left to stare at the wall. “Mama told me not to take you in. She said that you were just a leeching lowlife, but I tried to help you. I was hoping you would change before your nephew came. But now I know, it’s going to take a lot more than me to save you, Summer.” Her eyes, so familiar to mine, cut back to me.
Raina likes to think she’s the good child. The one with her shit together. If you compare us side by side, I guess that makes sense. She’s the CNA, and I’m the homeless addict.
I know she took me in only because she wanted to be the one that saved me. Not for me. She couldn’t care less if I’m sober or not. She wants to do it because she enjoys the accolades that come with the good girl status. She likes being the hero in her stories. Only I know how far from the truth that is.
“I want you out,” she whispers.
I would say that her decision hurts me, but I’m used to it. I’m not a saint. Hell, I’m not even easy to get along with, but I’ve never betrayed my family. Despite what they think.
Her decision inconveniences me, especially now, but I’ll figure something out. I always do. Trina says I must be part cat because I have nine lives. If I am, I’m the unluckiest fucking cat in the world because of those nine lives, so far all have been shitty.
“Fine, give me a few days. I’ll be out of your hair.”
I stand, stretching my arms over my head. I’m wearing a ratty T-shirt and gym shorts.
Even with everything covered, I still feel exposed in front of Mitch. I head to my borrowed dresser to find some jogging pants.
“No,” Summer says stopping me halfway. “You’re leaving now.”
My mouth drops open. “Are you fucking serious?” I look at the clock on the nightstand. “It’s 7:30 in the morning. And it’s Saturday. I have nowhere to go.”
Plus, what she doesn’t know, is that I can’t be on the streets. The whole reason I asked to move in with her is because I’ve made an enemy. A very dangerous one.
She wipes away the tear that falls down her cheek. “You should have thought about that before you tried to sleep with my boyfriend.”
Okay, I was babying her before. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings about her piece of shit baby daddy, but forget that.
“You can’t be that fucking dumb, Raina. Do you truly believe I tried to sleep with him, and he turned it down, so I punched him in the face? Does that really make logical sense to you?”
“Shut up, Summer,” Mitch yells. Even he knows how absurd it sounds.
“Mitch has community dick and has practically fucked everyone in Hammel projects, but you believe all of a sudden, he has found morals and turned down free pussy?”
She scoffs and wipes at her newly falling tears. “You are a lying bitter bitch, and you’re just as fucked up in the head as daddy.”
If she’d used a knife, she couldn’t have cut me any deeper. Yet, no matter how cruel she is to me, I still could never hate her. Beat her ass, maybe, but I couldn’t hate her.
My shoulders collapse as defeat embraces me. “Give me an hour, I’ll be out of your way.”
Raina and Mitch leave, and I get busy tossing my few measly possessions into a trash bag. It only takes me twenty minutes to get dressed.
I walk into the living room. Raina is crying in Mitch’s arms and he’s scrolling through his phone behind her back. He looks up at me when I walk in and smirks. The sad part is, he told me this would happen last night. He said if I didn’t have sex with him, he was going to make Raina put me out. I guess he won.
Ignoring him, I place her spare key down on the little glass coffee table. Before leaving, I stop for a moment, hoping my sister would change her mind. Not because I need a place to stay, which I do, but because I hope she will come to her senses and realize I would never hurt her that way.
When she continues to avoid me, I shake my head as I turn to leave. After all these years, I still believed there was hope for us. Maybe one day I will learn that the damage my mother did to our relationship is irreparable. When I storm out of the door, I make sure to slam it.
Although I left without a fight, I really don’t have anywhere to go. I doubt anyone else in my family will take me in. I have only one true friend and that’s the first place my enemy will check.
I don’t make good first impressions. Hell, I’m not really good when you get to know me either. And I damn sure can’t afford my own place.
After taking the subway toward Queens, I climb on the bus and head to the only place I’d be welcomed. Leaning my head against the window I shut my eyes. The cool surface of the glass soothes my clammy head.
