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I shake my head. “The Church didn’t make me a killer, Summer, they trained me to be a better one.”
Her brow pinches in confusion. She’s still not understanding me.
“I’m not my brothers. I’m not normal and I never will be. There is something inside me that has to be fed. I’m not the hero in your story.”
“I didn’t ask you to be a hero,” her voice catches as her eyes brim with tears.
Part of me is begging to stop. It pleads with me not to hurt her. Yet, I know I have to do this.
“Yes you do. When you ask me to lay with you at night. When you want me to watch TV with you. When you ask me to watch Gabe while you run to the post office. You want me to be something that I’m not. I have a mission, and I can’t allow you and him to be a distraction.”
I’ve never said anything that I didn’t mean. Every word that ever came out of my mouth has always been true. However, watching the tears gather in her eyes and then track down her face has me resenting my words.
She turns away from me as she bites into her bottom lip. She doesn’t even wipe the tears away.
“A distraction,” she repeats.
I remain silent, not sure what I can say to fix this. Not even sure if I should say something.
She looks back at me, swiping at her cheeks. Her head lifted a little higher. “I’ll keep Gabe occupied.” She turns and walks back into the house, closing the door behind her.
“Well, that was fucking stupid, Kid. You handled that about as well as Seth handles people’s feelings,” Priest says finally coming forward.
“They’re better off without you. Do you see the problems you cause. Because God giveth and he taketh away. You are unworthy,” Mother quickly reminds me.
Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I dial the private clean-up crew.
“Hospitality,” the gruff voice on the other end of the phone says.
“I have a special leak. I’m sending you the address.”
“How big is the leak?” The man on the other end of the phone asks.
“One single leak.”
“And what makes it special?”
“I need it rerouted.”
He’s silent for a moment. Usually, a cleanup crew’s job is to get rid of the body and make sure no one finds it. “I’m guessing this one is a private matter?”
“Yes. To everyone,” I add since all my brothers use the same cleaners.
“Be there in twenty minutes.” The line goes dead.
I hide Shade in Gabe’s playhouse in the backyard before taking off. I have no doubt that the cleanup crew will handle everything thoroughly. Right now, I need to release this rage. I’ve contained myself well while I was with Summer, but now the red haze has taken over and I need to exorcise these demons.
“Let’s go have some fun,” Mother coos in my head.
***
Using the end of my shirt I wipe the blood from my fist. My breathing is still labored and my throat hurts from yelling. It’s been hours since I killed Shade but the haze has yet to leave me. I still feel the fury inside of me. I still have the urge to destroy everything. The walls of my rented apartment took the brunt of my anger.
“You’re in here throwing a tantrum like a toddler,” Mother fusses. “You should be out there cleansing the world of its sin. You’re a waste.”
The image of Summer’s face after I called them a distraction pops up in my head again. The night before, she laid in my arms and laughed, and then today I made her look so broken. I punch my fist into the drywall in front of me, enjoying the bite of pain it caused.
When I was a kid and I would get this dark, Priest would take me to the quiet room. I would destroy everything until I was able to chase the red haze away. However, today it isn’t working.
