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“What was that for,” she asks with a giggle.
“I have to be able to see the door,” I explain.
I hope my odd ways don’t make her change her mind about lying with me. Trying to sit with my back facing a door is the equivalent to having my skin peeled off.
“Makes sense,” she says before moving in closer to me placing her head on the pillow designated for me. Her warm breath brushes against my face. Her cold feet wrap around my legs.
“You’re so warm,” she coos as she tosses an arm over my side.
“And your feet are like ice blocks.”
She laughs. “We make a perfect pair. I’m cold and you’re hot.”
I don’t comment on that. Instead, I relax into the darkness of the room. Finding solace in the gentle sound of her breathing.
“Can I ask you something?” Her voice is light, hesitant almost.
“Yes.”
She pauses for a moment before she speaks again. “When you were away for those five years, did you… you know?”
I rack my brain trying to figure out what I’m supposed to know. Is she asking if I killed during our time away? I did. I didn’t know I wasn’t supposed to. I’ve always known she didn’t like what I did, but I didn’t realize she never wanted me to do it.
“Did you not want me too?”
She sighs. “I mean, I guess that would be absurd, right?” she chuckles but it isn’t like her usual laughs. “Five years is a long time to wait.”
“It’s hard to refrain from it, Summer.”
She gasps leaning up. I immediately miss her warmth. “Yeah, but I thought I was special.”
The sadness in her voice bothers me. It has the same effect that not facing a door does.
“No matter how important you are, I can’t hold back. It’s part of my job.”
She’s quiet for a moment. My sight has adjusted to the dark so I can just make out the confused way her brows are dipped.
“What are you talking about?” She asks.
“Killing. What are you talking about?”
Because now I have this odd inkling that I did not make the right assumption about what I was supposed to know. Her boisterous laughter makes me believe I am correct in my musings.
“Sex, Gabriel. I’m asking you if you’ve slept with someone else since we were together?”
This time I frown. Why would she want to know if I’ve slept with someone else.
“No. I haven’t been with anyone.”
Her laughter dies down and she goes back to lying peacefully beside me.
“So, you just didn’t think about it at all?” She asks once she’s regained her position.
“I thought about it.”
I don’t tell her how much I thought about it. How it kept me sane when those walls started to cave in on me. I don’t tell her that I closed my eyes and imagined her scent, her moans, the tightness of her pussy and the warm wet heat it emitted. I don’t confess to those things.
“Well, what kept you from doing it? I mean, other than the whole mom in your head thing, you’re a great catch for anyone.”
