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I think about that and draw a deep breath. “I’m torn. I’ve only just realized how little free will I’ve had during my life and now that I’ve taken the reins…I’ve never made big decisions. Grand-Mère took care of everything, and I was too naïve to question why.”
Elara dries her fingers on a rag and smiles. “Okay, so what is it you want to do?”
I drop my head back and stare at the ceiling. “I don’t know that either.”
She moves close and takes my fingers, gently shaking out my arms. “Let’s start with something easy then. What kind of tea would you like while we figure this out?”
I groan. “Even that’s too hard. You choose.”
She giggles. “Tavor? Could you run upstairs and grab the bag of peppermint jasmine tea? I think someone here is suffering from decision paralysis.”
“Is it that obvious?”
Elara watches as her ferret bounds up the stairs and then meets my gaze. “Could this have anything to do with three incredibly handsome vampires and your unwillingness to let yourself fall for them?”
“What? No.”
She tilts her head, looking doubtful.
“You don’t believe me?”
She takes a step back and leans her hip against the counter. “It’s obvious Finn and Rune are smitten, and for Sebastian to simply give you back your family grimoire out of the blue…there’s something building there, too.”
It wasn’t exactly out of the blue.
We may have shared a moment this morning, but him giving me back the grimoire was more about breaking his curse than anything else.
I think about Sebastian’s dream and the torment my mother has put him through these past two decades. It sickens me.
“Goodness, Josie, what is it?” Elara’s gaze is intense as she reads my face. “Tell me, and maybe I can help.”
“I don’t want to say it out loud because it feels disloyal to even think it.”
“But it’s just you and me here, and we’re sisters. I will never betray you.”
I know she won’t and that, more than anything, is why I love to spend time here. Elara knows the good and the bad and doesn’t judge.
She’s a good friend.
Drawing a deep breath, I push down my anxiety and go for it. “I’m disillusioned with my mother and my grandmother. I was raised to believe they were the two most honorable witches and because of the cruelty of vampires, they were robbed of their lives.”
Elara accepts the satchel of tea from Tavor when he returns and strides over to fill the kettle and make a pot of tea. “You were very young when you lost your mother and lived an isolated life with your grandmother. It’s understandable that you may have idolized them.”
“But now I find out that Grand-Mère bound my powers and hid everything about the unity ritual and the fallout…and my mom…”
“What about her?” Elara fills the kettle and clicks the button to start the boil.
I promised Sebastian I wouldn’t tell anyone about the curse—and I won’t tell Rune or Finn—but I may need help to break it. Still, I’ve barely skimmed through the spellbook…
Deciding to keep that to myself, I pull on another of the many threads that have frayed from the fabric of what I believed to be true.
“Sebastian and the vampires didn’t kill my mother. He didn’t betray his unity bond. My mother rejected him and left him in a worse position after the bonding than before it.”
Elara nods. “And while that’s sad, it doesn’t mean you have to fix it.”
“But Mother Gaia bound us for a reason.”
“Or she bound your mother to Sebastian and, consequently, you’ve inherited that bond, which has extended to his fledglings.”
