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It was nearly three in the afternoon before all closing arguments had been presented and the jury was prepped on their responsibilities. The judge released the jury to deliberate and released everyone in attendance until the jury returned. That could mean they would have enough time to get a coffee before being called back should the jury be convinced without a doubt one way or another, or it could mean several more days of waiting—even past the holiday—if the jury couldn't come to a unanimous decision.
Everyone stood, and rows emptied as people shuffled out of the courtroom. Benjamin held her hand at his side but didn't look down. She tried to steal a glance at his face, but his body was rigid and his profile stoic. Once in the hall, he led her away from the hustle of people dispersing out the front door into a quieter, less crowded corner. Her heart pounded viciously in her chest. After last night, what would he have to say to her?
He led her around a massive pillar leading down a side hallway, and turned into her, pulling her into his arms. Jewell's knees gave and she leaned into him, pressing her cheek against his chest. She inhaled the mingled scent of his laundry detergent, his cologne, and the mix of everything that made him Benjamin. His heart thumped hard against his ribs and he held her so tight she couldn't move.
She didn't want to.
"I'm sorry," he said against her hair, muffling the sound. "I'm so sorry."
She shook her head against him but didn't pull back. Benjamin stepped behind the pillar, hiding them completely from curious eyes, and held her tighter until he could bury his face against the side of her throat. Jewell wrapped her arms around his shoulders, holding tight as his body shook. Tears burned her eyes and she pressed her eyelids together so tight they hurt.
He broke away and slumped back against the pillar, his knees bent so he was closer to her eye level. His eyes shined, but he restrained whatever raging emotions tore at him. Jewell stroked his cheeks and took his face in her hands, kissing his lips.
He raised his hands to sign in the small space between them. "I knew when I left the suite last night I'd made a mistake. I just couldn't—" He fisted his hands and pressed his eyes shut, shaking his head in her hold. Without opening his eyes, he continued. "In three days I heard everything he ever thought of me, everything he ever said to me, and I couldn't…" His hands shook and he opened his eyes, looking at her. "I couldn't believe you could love me."
Jewell cried the tears she knew he held back. "But, I do love you, Benjamin," she emphasized with a nod. "Don't ever doubt that."
He nodded. "I know. Now. I know you told me last night, but I didn't accept it—I didn't 'hear' it," he signed, making a combined sign between actual hearing and comprehension, "until I left you. And when I realized it…you were gone. I thought I'd lost you."
She didn't want to take her hands from him, so she leaned closer and whispered. "I couldn't leave you to do this alone when I could be here. I just got a room at the hotel."
Benjamin came forward off the pillar and wrapped his arms around her, lifting her off her heels with the intensity of the embrace. He hid his face in her hair, against her throat, and she cupped the back of his head, holding him there. His fingers curled into her jacket, his entire body tense with whatever demons had raged against him in the last few days. This was what she'd wanted to be for him last night, but he hadn't been ready to let it happen. It didn't matter, he knew now. And she wouldn't let him ever doubt how much she loved him.
He turned into her neck, his lips kissing softly. Immediately, every part of her zinged with awareness. Benjamin kissed her throat, her jaw, her cheek—tiny, quick touches—until he reached her lips. Jewell opened to him, accepting the—panic?—that drove him, and kissed him so he knew, without any doubt, that she was there for him.
All too soon, Benjamin eased the intensity of the kiss to just a contact of mouth-to-mouth and finally broke away, his fingertips immediately coming to rest on her cheeks and slick lips. Her breath reflected back to her from the touch, and his own rapid breathing filled the space between them.
"Why don't you get angry with me?" he asked, his gaze skimming her face to try and take in both her eyes and her mouth at the same time.
Jewell blinked, trying to process the rapid switch in topic. "Why don't I get angry with you?" she repeated.
He nodded. "I've been an ass. I've taken it out on you. I've screwed up. Why don't you get angry with me when I do?"
Jewell shook her head, the motion making his fingers skim her skin. He smoothed her hair back from her cheek, hooking it behind her ear. "You didn't need my anger, and it wouldn't have helped anything."
Benjamin smiled, and the light that reached his eyes made her smile back. "You are amazing, Jewell Kincaid. And I love you."
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
The heady aromas of evergreen, cinnamon and peppermint mixed together with burning wood and more baked goods than Benjamin could categorize, every scent soaking into his memories as much as they permeated his clothing. He stood in the parlor in front of the Kincaid Christmas tree, its lights blinking and reflecting off the frosted windows facing the porch. Christmas had been a week before, but one of the many traditions of the Kincaid family was to leave the Christmas tree up until after the new year.
He'd missed Christmas, caught up in the final stages of Jon Roth's trial and dealing with his mother as she worked out the details of having her husband incarcerated for the next five years for assault with a deadly weapon and attempted murder. He was sentenced to five years for each crime—which Benjamin felt was pathetic for the pain he caused—to be served consecutively, and an additional fine equaling $55,000. Benjamin was still angry with his mother and Ben Prescott for their deception, but in the end, he couldn't leave her alone to deal with the mess Jon Roth left behind. As soon as things were wrapped up as much as they could be, he'd bundled up his sister and left Hartford for Boston. Both he and Victoria needed space between them and Hartford to sort through everything.
Tonight, he would bring in the new year with the Kincaids while Victoria and Dillon celebrated together at the townhouse. She was improving, but she wasn't ready to spend too much time out, and she'd ordered Benjamin to get out of the house before he smothered her—or she killed him.
He chuckled and smiled at his little sister's demands.
Motion past the window caught his attention, and he squinted to see through the frost and light reflection. Benjamin didn't even attempt to hold back the smile when he saw Jewell and Garnett climb out of Garnett's SUV, both carrying large paper takeout bags. Another tradition of the Kincaid family was a massive feast of Chinese takeout on New Year's Eve, and Cecil Kincaid had told Benjamin when he arrived that Jewell had gone with her brother to pick up the food. She came up the porch stairs beside her brother, and a gust of cold air curled into the parlor from the foyer when they entered. Benjamin stayed in his spot but turned to face the room so he could see her when she entered.
A few minutes later, the aromas of various Chinese dishes mingled with every other smell in the house, she came through the doorway from the kitchen and smiled when she saw him. She was so beautiful it stole his breath. Her thick waves of auburn hair hung unhindered around her shoulders, parted on the side so the waves slanted across her forehead to brush her cheeks. A soft yellow sweater over perfect-fitting jeans showed off her amazing figure and the blush in her cheeks from the cold made her glow. She crossed the room, pausing to fluff Pearl's hair where she sat in front of the fireplace coloring, and stepped into his arms when she reached him. Benjamin only considered for about half a second that her parents were in the next room and her little sister was a few feet away before he pushed his fingers into her hair and tipped her head for a deep kiss, one he'd wanted since he'd seen her three days earlier.
Jewell lifted her arms slowly, wrapping them around his neck as she leaned into the kiss, her hum vibrating against his lips. When he felt her smile, he pulled back and wrapped his arms around her, his palms against her back.
"I've missed you," she said before kissing him again.
"I've missed you, too. Your nose is cold."
She laughed, the rumble shifting through her body against his hands and chest. A tug on his sleeve forced him to look away from her and down to Pearl. She beamed up at him, her pale blonde hair escaping from her loose ponytail to frame her face like a halo. She held out a construction paper circle in green, with glitter and glue stripe decorations and a marker drawing in the middle of what might have passed as Benjamin. A red gift ribbon was tied through a punched hole at the top, and across the bottom was his name: BenJaMIN.
