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Benjamin sighed heavily. He released her hand to sign. "You've seen a small glimpse of what my father is like. You have no idea the extent of contempt he holds for me. Because you are with me that contempt will also fall on you." He shook his head. "What the hell was I thinking? Take the car and go back to Boston." The firm jerk of his hand indicated it was an order, not a request.
Jewell shook her head. "No, I'm here for the duration. For you. I can handle whatever comes."
He finally turned his head to meet her eyes. "I believe you can handle it, Jewell. I don't think you should have to."
She gave him a small smile and touched his cheek with her fingertips. Her heart reached out to him, and Jewell wished more than anything in the world that Benjamin knew how much she loved him. How far she would go and how much she would do for him.
With a deep sigh, Benjamin opened his door and pushed himself out of the car. They each took a suitcase from the trunk, and Benjamin held her hand as they moved toward the house.
He opened the substantial front door, shedding light across their bodies and over the top step. Jewell heard voices coming from somewhere in the house, but couldn't determine from what direction. It was nearly one in the morning, but the house was lit up like it was mid-evening. The front hall was huge and seemed to gleam. White marble made up the floor, and the crystal chandelier that hung two stories over their head bathed the pristine marble in a warm glow.
Benjamin set their suitcases at the foot of an open, winding staircase and held out his hand. Jewell took it and allowed him to pull her forward. His grip was firm, almost too firm. If he had to hang on a little tighter than usual, Jewell wouldn't refuse him. If he hung on so tight it took her breath away, she wouldn't say no.
* * *
A man dressed in a dark suit came out of a door down the hall that branched off the foyer. Even though it had been years since he had set foot inside this cold mausoleum, Benjamin recognized him as the head of security for his parent's estate, Tom Declan.
"Jimmy informed me you came through the front gate," the man said, his expression flat and unfriendly. Benjamin couldn't recall ever seeing a smile on Tom's face.
"Where is everyone?" Benjamin asked.
"They're in the sitting room." Benjamin took a step around him. Tom raised his hand. "I don't think that's wise, Mr. Roth. Tensions are high right now."
Anger momentarily filled the black hole in his chest, and he clenched his jaw. Benjamin shook his head. "Not your decision."
"Mr. Roth."
"This is not up for debate, Declan."
The security guard nodded his head only slightly. He motioned with his hand down the hall, a half-hearted concession to Benjamin's statement.
He turned to Jewell, who still stood at his side, her small hand engulfed in his. She looked up at him and her gaze was a cooling salve to his fury. For her benefit, he tried to smile. "Jewell, why don't you go get some sleep? It's been a long night for you. I can have someone show you to a room."
Jewell shook her head and put her hand in the bend of his elbow. "No. This is where I'm staying. The sooner you accept that fact, the easier it will be."
Benjamin laid his palm against her cheek and stroked her lips before he kissed them. His kiss was nothing more than a brief touch, but it was enough to make his feet move down the hall. She wrapped her arms around his body and squeezed him tightly. With her arm behind his back and his across her shoulders, they walked past Tom Declan and down the hall. He saw her take in the silver accents and crystal chandeliers and overly opulent décor but avoided looking around himself. For Benjamin, this wasn't a homecoming. This place held no positive memories for him except for the ones with his little sister.
Something in him seized. It nearly knocked him to his knees. Pain shot through Benjamin's chest as if his heart were truly breaking into thousands of pieces. His steps faltered. If it weren't for Jewell's arm around him, Benjamin wasn't sure he would've remained standing. He turned and leaned back against the wall, Jewell moving with him. Her hands held his side and Benjamin wrapped his arms around her.
Jewell's lips formed his name and moisture glistened in her bright eyes.
He looked to the ceiling. How tight could he hold Jewell before she pushed away? She wrapped her arms around his neck and he bent to bury his face in her hair. Viciously, he swallowed the lump that choked him. Somehow, when he felt the most out of control and overrun, holding Jewell in his arms gave him a raft in the chaos. Never in his thirty-three years did he believe one person could be so much to him. Didn't ever think he needed someone this much. But now that he had her, he wondered what he would do without her.
She stroked his face, and Benjamin straightened to look down at her. The verdant green of Jewell's eyes sparkled with unshed tears. Jewell ran her thumb across his cheek to dry moisture he didn't realize was there.
"I can't lose her," he signed. He didn't want to risk being heard by anyone but Jewell. "I can't. If I do, I'll go crazy. Crazy."
She stroked his face and chest and held his hands still. Jewell kissed his knuckles, palms, and fingertips. She stood on her toes to kiss his cheek.
"You won't go crazy," she told him. "I won't let you."
Benjamin took a deep breath into shaking lungs. He fought the chaos inside and held her cheek against his chest. The fragrant scent of her hair drifted up to him and he kissed the softness. With a quick touch of his lips to hers, Benjamin pushed off the wall and took her hand.
They reached the closed parlor door, and Benjamin hesitated with his hand resting on the brass latch. With a quick look into Jewell's eyes, he pushed it down and the door opened. People—family members he hadn't seen or spoken to in years—sat or stood around the room in small clusters. As soon as he stepped inside, all heads turned in his direction.
The next several minutes were a blur, partially because everyone tried to speak to him at once. Aunts, cousins, and a variety of other relatives surrounded them. A glance over everyone's head told him neither of his parents was in the room. Benjamin raised his hands in a silent request for everyone to be still.
None of them understood. None of them even considered that he might not be able to absorb at once a dozen people waving their hands and speaking at the same time. Why would they? They never had to deal with the deaf boy Jon Roth had hidden and pushed aside.
