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He sighed. Everything made him think of Jewell. The caress of the wind on his skin was her touch. The heady aroma of fresh-cut flowers was her scent. The gentle flow of his brocade drapes was the feminine curves of her body and the graceful way she moved.
Benjamin turned to his side and glanced at the large numbers on his clock. It was just past five-thirty in the morning. Another forty-five minutes or so and the strong vibrations of his alarm mechanism would shake the bed and tell him it was time to get up. This morning it would not be necessary. Sleep eluded him and wouldn't come before the sun peeked through his window.
His bedroom door opened slightly. Benjamin pushed up onto his elbow and stared through the semi-darkness at the small space. Victoria's head came through the opening.
"Are you awake?" she signed.
Benjamin sat up and turned on the small light on his side table. He motioned her into the room.
"Unfortunately, yes. Are you just coming home?" After Jewell left, and Benjamin had consoled her for a while, Dillon had returned and asked to take her out. To talk.
Victoria nodded. As she stepped into the light, he saw her eyes were swollen and red from crying. She sat heavily on the end of his bed and wiped at her flushed nose. Benjamin tucked the bed sheet around his waist and swung his legs over the side to sit near her.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
Victoria's young face distorted in anguish and new tears poured from her eyes. She hit her thigh with a bunched hand and swiped roughly at the moisture on her cheeks.
"Vicki, tell me what happened," he signed with stern, quick gestures.
"Dillon and I just kept fighting after we left here. He wants me to give up on Daddy. Wants me to make a choice. Dillon doesn't think it'll work, doesn't think we can be together if I don't."
Benjamin saw the pain in her eyes. His first thought was the same as Dillon's. He knew as long as she let Jonathan Roth run any aspect of her life, Victoria would have no peace or happiness with Dillon Ferguson. Many times he had told his sister the same thing, even before she became involved with Dillon. Their father was a manipulator and a controller. For Victoria's sake, Benjamin would not openly agree with her fiancé to try and prevent any further pain to her.
"What did you tell him?"
"What could I tell him? I love Dillon, more than anyone else I've ever known. But how can I leave Hartford?" Victoria's eyes rounded and she leaned toward him. "Ben, you know how Daddy feels about me leaving. I'm supposed to fulfill some undetermined dream of his, and I don't want to think about what would happen if I defied him."
Benjamin's mind screamed to tell her Jonathan didn't give a damn about her so she shouldn't give a damn about him. He reined in the snap.
"Did you tell him that? Did you tell Dillon you couldn't choose?"
She nodded and began to cry again.
Benjamin opened the drawer on the table beside him and pulled out a small box of tissues. Victoria took a fresh one and blew her nose. He didn't need to ask Dillon's response. Although he could understand the man's frustration at the situation, Benjamin didn't agree with Dillon's ultimatum.
"What are you going to do?"
Victoria threw up her hands. "I don't know. Daddy is furious with me for defying him, and Dillon says we are over unless I do what he asks. What do you think I should do?" she asked. Her hands shook as she signed the question.
Benjamin sighed. "You know the answer to that question. But it's not my decision to make."
She nodded, acknowledging her acceptance of his response. Like she did when she was just a child, Victoria turned into him and buried her face against his shoulder. Benjamin wrapped his arms around her and rocked her until the sporadic spasms of her crying jag tapered off and finally stopped.
He still held her when the firm pulsation of his alarm shook the bed. Benjamin eased his sister back onto the mattress, turned off the alarm, and rose on tired legs to move to his bathroom and prepare for another day. Victoria was still asleep, curled into herself in a tight ball, when he finished knotting his tie and left for work.
* * *
Date: November 6 11:19:46am
To: [email protected] (Benjamin Roth)
From: [email protected] (Victoria Roth)
Subject: I'm sorry…
I couldn't tell you this face to face this morning, so in this, I'm being a chicken and sending an email. I knew you'd try to talk me out of it.
I've gone back to Connecticut. Don't bother coming home. My suitcases are already in my car, and as soon as I hit send, I'm going out the door. I've made up my mind, I know what I have to do, and it doesn't include hiding behind my big brother. I know you'd stand between me and anyone, but it's time I stand on my own and make my own decisions.
