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But I felt it.
I knew it was him.
I nod and take in as much oxygen as I can. Every time he is around, he takes my breath away.
Memories of our past are flooding my mind. My heart is thumping loudly, bouncing off the walls in my chest. I feel like my stomach is spinning. But I sense something, someplace amid this chaos.
I feel thisimpulse to touch him to make sure what's in front of me is real. That he is here. That it is truly him.
This moment feels surreal. I've given it a lot of thought, but in all the years I've spent wondering when and how I would see him again, I never imagined it would be this way.
And this way is painful.
A reminder of my desires, even though I already know too well that I will never be able to fulfill them. It's not like I ever wanted him back but knowing that I will never have him makes the ache unbearable.
I try to maintain my composure and manage a grin for him and Barbara while maintaining my professionalism. My career is on the line here, and I will not allow Ronan to stand in my way.Then again, he's staring at me. All of them are. As if I should respond to what he said in some way.
But the stare from those aqua green eyes gives me with a rush. It is the stare from those eyes that is making my stomach churn and my throat flaky.
I have never seen somebody maintain such a constant tilt on one brow. Nobody that I've seen twitches the side of their mouth in that way when they face an inconvenience. Nobody I know can keep me ensnared in their spell for so long.
The bride's family name was the only information provided when I received the bookings onmy website. There is no way in hell I would have ever been this excited about this job had I known he would be here, that he'd be the groom.
“Shocking,” Barbara finally says. “It is not every day you run into your fiancé’s ex, who also happens to be the pastry chef meant to bake your wedding cake,” she chuckles,raisingher hand to show off her huge diamond ring.
“That's why we shouldn’t use her,” Ronan says. I’m not sure how I feel about his suggestion, but I understand where he’s coming from.
“Do you want to talk about it in private?” Riley gestures over her shoulder in the direction of the car, but neither Ronan nor Barbara seems to be taking up her offer. “No?” She puffs. “No.”
Barbara creeps toward Ronan and says, "I get your concern, Babe," giving her hips a little extra swing. "But consider this," she pauses next to him and, taking advantage of her height, rests an elbow on his shoulder. She gently puts her arm around him possessively and says, "She is the best in Boston, and I want the best for my wedding to you."
The sight unsettles me.
It should have been me.
“I don’t think it’s necessary,” Ronan slants his head to face Barbara, and she sucks in a deep breath like that move affected her in the same way it’s affecting me.
They are so close to kissing. Their lips are only an inch away from coming together, and he is staring into her soul like she is the best thing in the world—the same way he used to stare at me.
“I can issue a complete refund," I offer with the biggest smile I can muster, watching the only man I have ever truly loved gazing at another woman as though she is his universe, and I can't help but admit that they belong to each other. "Plus, I might have someone else to recommend so you don't have to deal with starting a new search over again."
They fit together. Barbara is a few inches shorter than Ronan, who is over six feet –definitely somewhere between six feet four and five.
Being the model she is, she has the most perfect body I’ve ever seen—adream girl. Barbara is stunning, amazing waves of raven black hair and brown eyes the color of coffee. She also knows how to accentuate each of her features. She is wearing a deep green jumpsuit, accessorized with a gold belt that matchesher clutch and gold stilettos.
And then her social status. Although I am aware that Ronan is not the kind to obsess over thingslike that or let them influence his choices, I also know that his mother clings to it tightly.
They are both up there.
“She said she can do a refund,” Riley repeats my words since Barbara and Ronan stare at each other as if they are having some encoded conversation.
“That won’t be necessary,” Barbara breaks the eye contact to smile at me. “Babe,” she says as she tilts her head, facing Ronan again. “You know how my father gets, and he already paid for this. How would I justify it?” She shrugs. “And I want her to do this,” she leans in and presses a soft kiss on his lips.
I quickly drop my eyes to the floor and close my mouth as Riley looks from them to me. I gulp, taking the sting like a big girl.
When I hear Barbara clap her hands enthusiastically, I know Ronan must have said something to her with his expressionor the same eye-encoded discourse.
“Thank you, Babe,” Barbara turns to face me. “Shall we?”
