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I struggled to focus on his stony face.
I frowned. “No, wait. Am I the hopeless one?” I tried to make sense of the syrupy swirls in my head. “After all, you’re the one who stole all my hope.” I sighed with a relieved, happy chuff. “Buh-bye hope.”
I waited for him to speak.
I’d grown so used to him chattering away with his confessions.
I didn’t know how much I’d miss it when faced with aching quietness.
I drifted again.
Mollie popped into my head. Behind her, Victor’s stronghold went boom, thanks to one of her bombs. Then Rachel was there, grinning and dancing, her pregnant belly almost ready to pop.
I stiffened.
“She can’t have her baby here.”
“What?” Henri dropped his arms, raw panic carving his face as if I’d lost my mind.
“Children weren’t allowed in here.” I couldn’t look at him, remembering Victor asking him to exterminate Rachel. “But now, thanks to you making Victor keep it, he’ll probably decide to breed all of us.”
Tears bloomed.
Fresh laughter bubbled.
I didn’t know which would win—sobs of horror or peals of inappropriate delirium.
In the end, they cancelled each other out, and I tried to roll onto my side to curl into a ball.
I started to crash—
Henri clamped a hand on my shoulder. “Stay on your back.”
My nervous system tried to warn me a bruise existed there, but the magic of drugs said…who cares?
My eyes tore open, locking on his. “You…you won’t expect me to have a baby too, will you?”
“Fuck, Ilyana.” His face shot ghost white. “No, of course not.” He stumbled away from me, pacing the bedroom and raking cream-smeared fingers through his hair.
I tracked him for a little while, but he made me dizzy. “Oh, good. Because if you ever got me pregnant, I’d jump off the parapet.”
His feet slammed to a stop.
Marching back to the bed, he loomed over me. He panted as if he’d run a four-day race. He looked utterly in pieces. “Y-You’d kill yourself rather than carry my child? You hate me that much?”
“I’d kill myself so our child never knew horror.”
He winced.
Another wave of numbness.
I sank into it.
The sensation of lightness promised me the ability to float right out the window and soar all the way over the sea back to Krish.
A pinch in my heart.
The only pain I could still feel.
