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“I’d hope to God we got it right because the wrong one would be fatal.”
“Fatal?” I backed up, hugging Ily closer. “No fucking way are you giving her anything that could kill her. Jesus.”
Both the nurse and the doctor looked at me with matching questionable expressions.
I didn’t care we were on camera.
I didn’t care Victor would see his in-house doctor yelling at me or my responses to Ily’s condition. He could taunt me or threaten me all he wanted, but under no circumstances would I put Ily through another experience like the one she’d had in Ruby Tears.
And the fact I could look back on that night—one of the most freeing of my life—and only abhor it now broke yet another fucking part of me.
Were there any pieces left?
How much could a man keep breaking before he shattered into dust?
Rose held up the tiny glass vial. “This is GHB in liquid form. It’s practically tasteless and—”
“No.” I shook my head.
“She’s in a lot of pain, Henri.” Rose used liberties with my name again. “She might’ve fainted because of Peter’s treatment, but I think it’s more about the fact she reached the limits of her endurance. The kindest thing you could do for her is to let her sleep while you tend to her. And this” —she wriggled the bottle— “is probably the only sedative she can have.”
I stepped back again.
Rose followed me. “This doesn’t work the same way as psilocybin. It’s gamma-hydroxybutyrate, and in the dose I’m suggesting, all she’ll feel is tired. If she wakes, her pain receptors will be dulled. The worst side effects would be slight inhibition and giddiness. That’s all.”
“I’m not fucking drugging her, alright?”
Ily moaned in my arms; her eyes cracked open a little.
Rose caught her hazy gaze and smiled. “Welcome back. How’re you feeling?”
“Sore.” Ily winced, trying to get away from my arm pressed against her ribs.
I shifted immediately, swallowing a hiss as her hair stuck to my stab wound.
Melanie darted forward, snatching the vial out of Rose’s hand. “Now you’re awake…you can make the choice.” Smiling thinly, she added, “As you know, Peter’s in a bad way, and we need to tend to him first. But…you’re also in a state. Your Master has agreed to do the initial clean-up and tend to your bruises. It will hurt. You really shouldn’t move. Rose has suggested you take a micro-dose of GHB to keep you still, and…I tend to agree with her.”
Ily stiffened. “No, I can’t—”
“You shouldn’t have any symptoms like you did last time. All you should feel is drowsy and free from pain for a while. Does that sound okay?”
Ily laughed, then bit her bottom lip with a moan. “Is that a trick question?”
“Okay then.” Unscrewing the vial, the doctor sucked up the barest amount into a pipette.
“Wait.” Ily blinked and tried to be more coherent. “Are you sure it won’t make me hallucinate? I don’t think I can go through that again.”
“No.” Melanie shook her head. “You should just be a little spacey. However, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I also didn’t advise that it might cause feelings of euphoria and increased sex drive. In too high a dose, it could cause tremors, nausea, breathing difficulties, and or death. So it’s not one I regularly—”
“No way.” I bared my teeth. “No drugs. Give her some damn Panadol.”
“Panadol won’t touch the sort of pain she’s suffering.” Her hate-filled eyes met mine. “And it’s not your choice, is it?”
Ily trembled as if the thought of existing for another moment in pain was too much. She didn’t look at me. Didn’t ask me to put her down. She just nodded. “If it will give me some peace for a little while…then, yes please.”
I sucked in a breath. “Ily, no—”
“I’ve made my choice.” She refused to make eye contact.
