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“I agree. She does deserve better.” A wash of remorse chilled me. I snorted with disbelief as I confessed. “And if she chose you over me, I wouldn’t stop her.”
“What?” He eyes popped wide. “Y-You’re saying you’d step aside?”
“I am.” I fought the jittery mess of my pulse. “But I would also fight like hell because what you saw is true. I would cut out my heart if she wanted to dine on it. I would cut out the heart of all those she asked me to. I’m twisted, I won’t deny that. But what you didn’t see is…when I love someone, I become the most faithful son of a bitch. And Ily loves you. Therefore, I’ll do whatever it takes to help you.”
He staggered a little. “She said that? That she loves me?”
I sighed.
I really, really didn’t want to hurt him.
I tried not to say it.
I said it anyway. “As a friend. A cousin perhaps.”
“A cousin?” He winced. “She said she loves me like a cousin?”
“Fuck’s sake.” Raking both hands through my hair, I glowered. “No, you fool. We don’t exactly lie around talking about you. I have no idea how she feels about you. I just…I saw the way she looked at you before Emerald Bruises started. You were high and hurting and her heart fucking broke for you.”
“Because she loves me…”
“Because she cares about you. Look, I have to go. I don’t trust anyone in this godforsaken place and can’t think straight when she isn’t near me. Are we doing this or not?”
“You think a sob story of you as a kid is gonna earn my trust?”
“Merde, you’re hard work.” Crowding him, I held out my hand. “You need a vow? Fine. I’m in. I’m all fucking in. I’m doing this—not for you or for her—but for my brothers and sisters who I failed when I was younger. I’m in, alright?”
Peter never broke eye contact.
His worry and fear faded a little as he looked at my outstretched hand.
“Come on, Peter…” Ticking time scratched against my nerves. “Do we have a deal or not?”
Swallowing hard, he studied me.
He saw me.
Judged me.
And then, he softened.
His hate turned to hope.
His loathing to trust.
And for the first time in my pitiful life, I felt a brotherly bond.
The same bond I’d tried to cultivate with Q.
I hated that it was with the man who wanted what I had, but…it also made sense.
We were the same in that respect.
Slowly, he inserted his gloved hand into mine.
We both winced at the contact.
Both cringed away from the sensation of signing our lives over to each other.
