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Looking up, I dropped my hand. “I’m gonna go. This…this isn’t gonna work.”
His jaw clenched.
He nodded.
I turned to leave.
His hand latched around my bicep. “Fuck…wait.” Letting me go, he raked his fingerless gloved hands through his thick brown hair. Looking up at the sooty ceiling, he closed his eyes as if begging the Almighty for strength.
When he finally looked at me again, he said stiffly, “I…you threaten me too. And you might be right.”
“That you’re in love with her.”
He just shrugged so fucking sadly, I had the crazy urge to pat him on the shoulder.
Sniffing back whatever emotions he refused to share, he braced himself. “Look, I’m sorry. This is asking a lot of me. To trust a Master? To trust you? I know what I saw in that cave and know that Ily sees the good in you, but…it’s hard.”
“I get it.” I crossed my arms. “More than you know.”
He huffed. “I…I’ve always been sceptical and have a habit of trusting the wrong people. That’s how I ended up here so…I can’t really claim I have good instincts. So…fuck it. I’m going to ignore those instincts and trust what I see instead.”
“And what do you see?”
He gave me a twisted smile. “I wished I didn’t…believe me. But I see a man who is so fucking in love with Ilyana he’d carve out his heart and slap it onto a plate for her to eat if she told him she was even slightly peckish.”
I stiffened.
Not what I expected him to say.
“I see a man who killed out of pure passion not psychopathic joy. I see a man who’s made mistakes and definitely has a shit ton of issues but…a man who wants to be good despite every part of him being dark.”
My spine tingled. “I didn’t come here for the shrink special—”
“You don’t understand how much it meant to me that Kyle got what he deserved. He’s cut so many of us. He’s burned us, brutalised us, and has torn my body in two each time he fucked me.” His limbs started to shake as he dug his hands into his linen pockets. “I wanted to die that day. Pretty sure I would’ve if it wasn’t for Ily, Rach, Mollie…and you. I’m kinda mad at all of you if I’m honest. I could’ve been free by now, and…seeing as I can’t say this to them, I’ll say it to you.” He snickered. “Isn’t that fucking hilarious? Can’t be honest with the people I love the most, yet I’ll confess all this shit to the man who has everything I want.”
He looked at the floor.
I waited.
I’d been where he was so many fucking times.
The least I could do was be patient.
Finally, he choked, “I’m so close to being done, man. I-I’m barely holding on.”
I rocked back on my heels.
Yet another thing I definitely hadn’t expected.
But…I probably should have.
Peter came across as flippant and bold, but wasn’t everyone hiding something in this godforsaken place? All of them just hanging on, surviving, hiding, hoping?
Standing there in a busy kitchen with steam and sugar and salt, I saw everything he’d done his best to hide.
Everything Ily probably saw. Everything mirrored in me.
And all that tenderness inside me welled up to include him.
