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The stinging in my eyes grew worse. So, so much worse.
I choked.
I gagged.
With her so close, so alive, so pure, I couldn’t fight it anymore.
A sob broke free.
Followed by a single tear.
She cooed under her breath and rose on her knees. “Ah, Hen…”
Hen…
My arms lashed around her, dragging her from the floor and onto my lap.
The moment her weight landed on me.
The second her heat sank into me.
It was over.
An ocean of tears poured free.
A torrent of them.
A river of them.
Shame and disgrace, self-disgust and remorse.
I painted her in wetness as I nuzzled into her neck and let go.
The noises I made.
The sobs I couldn’t hold back.
I was that little boy again.
The boy who could never cry because he had sisters and brothers to protect. Lies to say and horrors to forget.
A lifetime of misery chose that moment to destroy me.
I couldn’t catch my breath.
Couldn’t stay alive.
I’d hurt so many.
So, so many.
I hurt her.
So, so badly.
Crushing her to me, I wept into her perfect skin and laid every rotten piece at her feet.
Time ticked onward. But I wasn’t aware.
