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“What the actual fuck, Vic?” I shot backward, cursing the sensation of his hand on my cock.
He rubbed his fingertips together. “You’re softer than a slug. Figured as much. Stay there.” Stalking barefoot into his bathroom, he came back a few seconds later. Taking my hand, he smacked a little blue pill into it. “Take this, or I’ll force it down your throat.”
I scowled. “Viagra? No chance—”
“You have three seconds.” Grabbing my abandoned vodka on the coffee table, he forced my fingers around the cool crystal. “Swallow it because I’m not letting you out of my chambers until you’ve fucked Rachel, and I’ve fucked Ilyana.” His smile turned soft and dreamy. “We will enjoy a mutual evening of pleasure, yes? I told you I wouldn’t hurt yours, and you won’t hurt mine. I’ll even let you watch. In fact, we’ll do it together. How about that?” Turning around, he pushed the food-laden coffee table to the edge of the huge circular carpet, leaving the centre free. “We’ll share in our lust right here. No secrets between us. Only fun.” His eyes narrowed. “I won’t ask you again to take that pill, Henri, and I know you’re probably cursing my strictness, but allow me to tell you why you need to do this.”
Giving me a sad smile as if he truly cared about the fucked-up state of my soul, he murmured, “I hate to tell you this, Henri, but you don’t have a crush.” He clucked his tongue. “You’re so past a crush it’s a disease at this point.”
“A disease?”
“In our lives? Yes. Love is a disease that needs to be cut out, eradicated, and cured.”
“Love?”
“Oh, come now. You can’t be that naïve. You’re in love with her.”
My legs threatened to buckle.
I wanted to deny it.
I needed to.
But…hadn’t I had the same thoughts lately?
Hadn’t I felt it taunting me beneath the black blanket of depression?
I watched her when she slept, my heart ballooning out of my chest with tenderness.
I hung on her every word, desperate to hear more.
I begged for a single tear, grateful when she was too strong to cry.
Fuck.
“The fact that you’re not denying it proves I’m right,” Victor said quietly.
Ily made a noise behind him, wrenching my stare to her. Even Rachel looked over her shoulder, studying Ily’s reaction.
My entire heart felt like it was on fire. A never-ending fire growing wilder, hotter, and far, far too destructive.
Victor tapped my chin, bringing my gaze back to his. “We are monsters. We’re at the top of the food chain and that’s why you’re struggling so much. Every atom in your body is telling you to let go and be free, but your heart—that stupid human heart—has latched onto the final thing holding you back.”
Fisting my wrist, he pushed my hand toward my mouth.
The blue pill rocked on my palm.
“This will stop all that pain inside you.” He nodded encouragingly as my strength wavered. “All that second-guessing? All that suffering? Poof.” He smiled as my palm touched my lips. “I promise you, Henri…if you cut those ropes and break out of that prison that love has bound you in, you’ll be free…once and for all.”
I hated my weakness.
That my despair perked up at the very notion of no longer feeling this way.
She said it was okay…
I sighed and hung my head.
Nothing was okay.
