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“Oh, it was a long time ago. My parents just worry that it’ll happen again, but they also want me to make friends. It’s kind of a catch-22.”
"Well, I've shown you mine, now show me yours," I said cheerfully.
Nolan looked at me and raised an eyebrow.
"You said you had to learn to walk again once. What happened?"
"Oh!" He gave me a sheepish grin which caused me to blush, but I leaned toward him and rested my face in my hand while he talked. "I was a wild little kid, I guess you could say. I liked to run, scream, ride bikes, skateboard, rollerblade; you know the usual things kids like to do." I nodded, even though I had never done half of those things. Come to think of it, neither had Stella or Liam. "Anyway, so I thought I was a real badass when I was nine years old. I got this bright idea one day to see if I could go faster on a skateboard if I wore a rollerblade on my other foot. Needless to say, I didn't get very far. I fell down a concrete staircase near my mom's office building; got compound fractures in both of my legs. The docs looked at the X-Rays and said I'd be lucky to walk normally again, let alone walk at all. My mom cried her eyes out for weeks about it. Every time she saw me in the casts she would put a hand to her mouth and walk out of the room blubbering. The day I got the casts taken off, I remember thinking that my legs looked normal, so why shouldn't I be able to use them, right? The doctor wound up giving me those metal crutches with the arm cuffs and told me that I would only ever be able to walk using them." Nolan gave me the full power of his dimpled half-smile, "Do you see crutches anywhere?"
I laughed and shook my head.
"I guess I was as determined as I thought I was cool. Which is why, I say to you, my dearest Jane, that if I was able to get on my feet again, so shall you," he finished with a grand sweeping arm gesture.
I looked down at my legs for a moment, honestly believing that I might be able to use them one day. But being a chronic pessimist as of late, I pushed the thought out of my head as quickly as it entered.
I shrugged in response and his smile faltered a little.
"Wanna try something?" he asked suddenly.
"Sure," I replied, turning my attention back to the children who had now moved their enthusiasm to the swings. I smiled wistfully; it looked like a lot of fun.
Nolan got up from where he sat and moved behind me. He put his hands on the wheelchair handles and began to push me toward the children. I tilted my head up to look at him. He looked a bit mischievous, and also determined. He left me at the edge of the dirt pit that housed the swings and the slide. I watched him walk over to the children and start negotiations of some sort.
One of the little boys—no older than eight years old—hopped off of his swing and gave Nolan a high five. Then they both made their way to where I was sitting, watching them curiously. The little boy gave me as big a smile as the one Nolan had on his face.
“What’s going on?” I asked them suspiciously.
“Xavier here wants you to have his swing for a little while,” Nolan explained, putting a hand on the little boy’s shoulder.
I felt a tear sting my eye. Children didn’t easily give up what they were enjoying and playing with; and this little boy, who didn’t know me from anywhere, was willingly giving up his swing.
“Thank you, but I can’t swing,” I said softly, wiping away a tear.
“Sure you can! We’re going to help you!” Xavier exclaimed happily.
I looked up worriedly at Nolan who gave me a grin and reached down for me. I instinctively pushed his hands away and turned the wheelchair around. I started to wheel myself back toward the bench when Xavier’s sad voice stopped me.
“She doesn’t like me, huh?” he asked.
I stopped wheeling and turned to face them. The look on his face broke my heart; I felt like I had let him down in a way that seemed irreparable.
“I just don’t know if I can,” I explained quietly.
Xavier came over to me and with his big brown eyes on mine; he said simply, “You’ll never know unless you try.”
I eyed him for a moment, blinking back fresh tears before I looked at Nolan and nodded. Nolan smiled and told Xavier to push my chair back toward the dirt pit, and then he would take over from there.
When Xavier had me pushed firmly against the long wooden bars that were keeping the “clean” dirt in the playground, Nolan came around to the front of me and put a hand on either side of my chair.
“Trust me?” he asked as he leaned down.
“I don’t have much of a choice,” I replied with a nervous laugh.
He grinned and reached down for me. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and closed my eyes as he gently lifted me out of the chair, careful to still leave my legs in a somewhat seated position. I heard Xavier’s feet as he ran through the dirt and straight to his swing. I glanced over and saw him standing behind it... waiting.
“One sec and she’s all yours, buddy,” Nolan said to him.
Xavier moved to the side and Nolan sat me on the swing. I gripped the chains with every bit of strength that I had. I was terrified of falling off and what it would feel like without something supporting my back.
