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I couldn’t understand why, but the color in his eyes, the flickering… it made me feel hungry.
“Look at me,” he said, “do I look like I am not suffering?”
“Lucifer hurt you,” I said, “and he’s going to pay for what he’s done.”
“Lucifer may have tricked me, promised me he would bring you back only to get me to do his bidding, but I did what he asked me to do all the same and I am marked for it. There is no going back from here, Sarakiel. You would do well to stay away from me.”
I shook my head. “I’m not going to abandon you.”
“You should!” he barked, standing upright and yelling in one quick motion. “You should. There is more blood on my hands than there has ever been before. Angel blood, human blood—to me, it was all the same. Lucifer asked, and I did as he commanded.”
“You were lied to.”
“Perhaps I was, but there is no denying that I did my job well. Efficiently. Without a second thought.”
“Abaddon—”
“No, you are not listening to me, Sarakiel. I do not deserve…” he stopped himself before continuing. I could see the pain on his face, the struggle taking place inside of him. The things he was saying, the confession he had just made, it was abhorrent. The thought of Abaddon wantonly murdering humans and cutting angels down at Lucifer’s command—it hurt.
Deeply.
I wasn’t about to brush any of that aside or pretend like I was fine with the destruction he had wrought over the past year, but it was true that he had been manipulated. Abused for his strength, and for his weaknesses. I wanted him to see there was still Light inside of him, despite all the wrongs he had done.
“The threat I pose is too great,” he said.
I frowned at him. “Threat?” I asked.
“I can feel it, Sarakiel… and I believe you can feel it also.”
I swallowed. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Do not lie to me, Lightbringer. You felt it the moment you looked me in the eyes, that gnawing hunger growing inside of you. It is an affliction, an infection, and it is contagious.”
“I did feel it…” I said, pausing. “What is it?”
“You brought me here… it was your Light that sustained me because I cannot generate my own.”
“What are you saying?”
“I am marked beyond repair, Sarakiel. I have sinned too much. I am becoming Wretched.”
“Don’t say that.”
“I say it because it is true. I should have been able to heal my own injuries after my fight with Lucifer. I should have been able to sustain myself, enough to be able to fly on my own power at least.”
“Lucifer did something to you. Weakened you, somehow.”
He shook his head. “I survived only because you gave me your Light. If not for that, I would be dead by now… or worse, the hunger would have grown too strong for me to control, and I would have… hurt you.”
“Hurt me?”
“The Wretched hunt and consume angels for their Light because they have none of their own. Because they would die without it.”
“You aren’t a twenty-foot flying monster with a horn for a voice.”
“Not yet, but I fear my transition has begun. So long as I am near you… I am a threat to you. I do not want to hurt you, Sarakiel.”
I shook my head. “I won’t let you turn.”
