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I turned back to her, swallowing past the emotions I still barely had a hold on. “How did you—”
“Go on.” She nodded toward the door.
One last chance. I’d step into his office with a clear mind and an open heart, this one last time. I had been so caught up in the little things that they’d became monumental things. Criticizing him was unfair when I hadn’t exactly been the best wife lately.
Maybe this was what we needed. A fresh start.
I’d drop off his bag, ask him to lunch, and apologize for snapping. Maybe it would be enough. We were far beyond a place where a simple sorry would heal all the wounds we’d inflicted, but putting in the effort instead of throwing in the towel would be nice.
Truth be told, over the last few months of uncomfortable silence, after even the arguing had stopped, I had begun to accept that we were coming close to the end. For months now, I’d been watching the flame of my favorite candle work its way to the end of the wick and start to flicker out.
But maybe it was time to show Liam that I was willing to work at this if he was. I didn’t want to lose him, no matter how frustrated I was, no matter how much it hurt to see his happiness physically melt away in front of me. I still wanted him.
As I stepped into the lobby, I raised a finger at the cute girl at the front desk. “Is Liam Wells in his office?”
This girl was new here. Or maybe she wasn’t. Maybe she had been working here for over a year and I had no idea because I’d stopped popping in to surprise him at work when I had given up hope for us.
“He should be. You can head up, Mrs. Wells.” She gave me a soft smile, sweet and genuine.
Oh, so she knew who I was. Good, that was good, right? Maybe that meant something. I smiled back and nodded.
I took the stairs two at a time, and for the first time in far too long, I had hope. Hope for our future. Though it may be rough for a while as we got ourselves back on track, we could pull it off. Couldn’t we? If we both tried a little more. That meant starting with me. I couldn’t ask him to try if I wasn’t willing to do the same, so I’d show him that I wanted to change. That I wanted to move past this rut we’d let get so deep.
I was already preparing plans in my mind, coming up with ways that I could bring more joy to his life. Leaving him notes in his lunch. Starting his car for him on colder mornings. Heating his dinner up before he got home and having it ready.
My fight-or-flight response was kicking in. This was it. It was time to either get this runaway train back on track or hop off entirely. This was my last-ditch effort. If this didn’t work, then I would accept that we were never meant to be.
I turned the corner at the top of the stairs, immediately catching sight of a group of people huddled near a cluster of desks. The men all wore fancy suits, and the women looked incredible in long, tight skirts and panty hose. I didn’t even own a pair of tights anymore. I craned my neck, looking around them toward Liam’s office.
His door was closed. My hand trembled as I tightened my grip on the backpack strap I’d slung over my shoulder. It was stupid to be anxious about seeing my own husband. Nevertheless, my heart was pounding, and I’d broken out in a sweat.
With a deep breath in, I turned the corner. As I did, I scanned the crowd of people again. And there, in the middle, was Liam. Leaning against a desk in his perfect suit, hands in his pockets.
He was smiling. It was a big, blinding smile too. White teeth flashing, dimple tucked in, eyes closed, and head tossed back like he was overflowing with joy. The guy in a brown suit next to him elbowed him in the ribs and went on with what must have been a hilarious story, because Liam clutched his stomach and leaned forward, laughing so hard it echoed around the open space.
When was the last time I’d heard this man laugh like that? The kind of belly laugh that made a person’s cheeks hurt and their eyes water. He wiped the tears of laughter dripping down his face at the exact moment I wiped the tears of devastation from mine.
Liam stood and waved a finger in the air, adding to whatever his friend in the brown suit had said. The group around him fell into another round of raucous laughter. He patted one other guy on the back and walked away, oblivious to the way the women around him looked at him like he was their next meal. He ambled off, hands in his pockets, smiling away like this morning had never happened. Like his family wasn’t falling apart around him.
Realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I was the weight holding Liam down. I’d blown up about a single dish in a nearly spotless kitchen. No wonder the guy came in early and stayed late every night. It was an escape from me. And who could blame him?
He was getting closer and closer, heading straight for me, though he hadn’t spotted me. Panic set in. I either had to confront him or run, but if I didn’t decide now, I wouldn’t have a choice but to speak to him. If I bolted back down the stairs, I could make it out of here. I could leave his bag with the receptionist and go back home, accepting that this was over. Liam looked down at his phone, still smiling, giving me the perfect chance to run.
Why did he look so, so happy?
Caught between a rock and a hard place, I left.
The knock on my mom’s front door was symbolic of this day: slow, filled with dread, defeated.
Not five seconds later, the door swung open, and my mom hit me with an expectant look, brows raised high. She craned her neck and peered around me. I glanced back to see what she was looking for.
She pointed to my empty hands. “You weren’t there very long. I thought you’d be back with your girl on your arm and that ring on her finger.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, well, things got cut short.”
Not that I’d had a proposal in mind. My hope for today was that we could get back on solid ground. After our conversation, though, I couldn’t tell whether we were headed that way or whether we were sinking further into the sand.
“Things…or you?” She crossed her arms and pursed her lips.
