Page 18 of Undeniably His

He didn’t reply, and she chewed again on her lip. “Oh, right. You have plans with Mark. If you tell me where you’re having drinks, I’ll drop it off tonight. I can take the bus to the restaurant.”

“It’s cold and too late and dangerous for you to take the bus.”

“I don’t mind,” she said. “I’ve taken the bus way later than this, and I’m fine with the cold. Why don’t you give me the restaurant name, and I’ll bring the five hundred dollars to you.”

“No,” he said. “Monday morning is fine.”

“A-are you sure?” she whispered.

He nodded and backed away when her eyes watered with tears. “I’m positive. Good night, Ms. Smith.”

“Good night, Mr. Dawson.”

She turned away quickly and jabbed her key into the lock before slipping inside and shutting the door. Luke waited until he heard the lock turn before walking away.

* * *

Her apartment was freezing, but she didn’t bother turning up the heat as she kicked off her boots. She could turn the thermostat up as high as it would go, and it wouldn’t make a difference. She had spoken to Mr. Ranson three times about the heat, but he still hadn’t fixed it. She supposed she should be grateful that she had at least some warmth trickling through the apartment.

Speaking of heat…let’s talk about how Mr. Dawson put his arm around you twice today.

She tried to ignore her inner voice, but it carried on happily.

He was warm, wasn’t he? He smelled delicious, and he held you a little longer than necessary. Did you notice?

He told me I was too thin, she snapped at her inner voice. Besides, he was saving me from falling on my ass the first time.

Yeah, but what about the second time? He didn’t need to touch you the second time when he was protecting you from Mickey. How sweet was that, by the way? You should thank him. Maybe give him a blow job at work on Monday to -

Shut up! What is wrong with you? Don’t you remember what happened the last time we slept with our boss?

Her inner voice fell silent. Jane stomped across her apartment and quickly changed into her flannel pajamas. It wasn’t even eight yet, but she wasn’t working tonight, and it wasn’t like she could afford to go out with her few friends.

She sighed heavily and grabbed her purse before sitting on the couch and wrapping herself in a blanket. She pulled out the foil-wrapped sandwich and unwrapped it. Shame flooded her, but her hunger quickly overrode it, and she bit into the sandwich. The bread was a little stale, but after three days of eating nothing but peanut butter sandwiches, it still tasted amazing. She forced herself to eat slowly until it was gone. She considered making herself a peanut butter sandwich before curling into a smaller ball and staring out the window.

She was exhausted, but she still wished she was working tonight. Friday and Saturday nights were the busiest at the clubs and good for tips, but she never worked them anymore. She used to, she used to work every weekend, in fact, but that had all changed three months ago. Now, she worked Monday to Thursday at the club, and the combined total of tips in those four nights was less than the tips she used to make on a Friday night.

She sighed again and closed her eyes. It was her own damn fault for being so stupid and naïve. She hadn’t put two and two together that getting the best shifts directly resulted from sleeping with Jeremy. She hadn’t seen - or maybe didn’t want to see - who Jeremy was. It had felt too damn good to be with someone, to have a warm body to curl up against and believe that it wasn’t just her against the world. She thought that Jeremy cared for her, maybe even loved her. That belief and her relief at finally not feeling so alone kept her in a relationship with her boss at the club.

She walked to the bathroom and brushed her teeth before climbing into bed. She curled up under the covers and tried to sleep. She didn’t want to dwell on the past because it made her feel stupid and ashamed, but it kept crowding in.

The sex was okay with Jeremy. At least, she thought it was. He was her first, and the fact that she was a virgin had appealed to him more than she cared for. She didn’t always orgasm, but she never complained. Jeremy liked to boast about his abilities in bed, and she figured her nerves and insecurities made it occasionally difficult for her to climax. Jeremy found her attractive, but he had hinted more than once that she would look even better with a boob job which didn’t exactly help her confidence in bed. She had always been on the slender side with narrow hips and small breasts, and she was a little envious of her coworkers and their lush curves. Of course, slender was twenty pounds ago and now her ribs stuck out, and her breasts were practically non-existent.

She turned onto her back and stared at the ceiling. She was slowly starving to death and was now resorting to stealing her boss’ garbage.

Don’t forget that he paid your rent out of his pocket. That’s another first in humiliation for you.

Another wave of shame washed over her, and she wiped at the tears starting to leak down her cheeks. She felt sorry for herself and her grumbling stomach, but there was no point. Her life was what it was, and she had to make the best of it. In the morning, she would buy a few groceries and –

You can’t. You heard what Mr. Dawson said about your clothes. You need better clothing, or he’s going to fire you.

He wouldn’t. He can’t! she thought frantically.

Sure, he could. You’re on a three-month probation, remember? He can come up with another reason for firing you, even if it’s actually because of how you dress. Tomorrow you need to get your ass into a proper clothing store and buy some Dawson brand clothes. Your job depends on it.

I’m starving! I need food.

You need this job.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com