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* * *
“Shit, Luke, I have never been so worried about someone in my life,” Amy said.
It was almost two hours later. Luke had driven Jane back to Amy’s house, and Jane had excused herself to her room as soon as they walked through the door.
“She’s not crying. Why isn’t she crying?” Amy almost whimpered.
Luke hugged his sister. “I think she’s in shock. She didn’t cry when they shut off the machines, and Mama J died.”
“Oh Jesus, that poor girl.” Tears dripped down Amy’s cheeks. “I don’t know what to say or do. I feel so damn useless. Do you think I should stay with her in her room tonight?”
Luke shook his head. “I’ll stay with her.”
“Does she want you to?” Amy said.
He swallowed heavily. “She hasn’t asked me to leave yet.”
“If she does?”
“Then I will. But I’m hoping she’ll let me stay.”
He hesitated and then said, “I love her, Ames. I love her, and I hurt her so badly, and I don’t know if she’ll ever forgive me for it.”
Amy hugged him hard. “She will, Lukie.”
“I hope you’re right.” He kissed his sister on the forehead before going upstairs to Jane’s room. He knocked on the door and opened it. Jane was wearing her nightdress and standing by the window with her forehead resting against the glass.
“Jane? I’m going to stay the night with you. If you’re okay with that.”
“Sure,” she said. “Whatever you want, Mr. Dawson.”
He closed the door and crossed the room to stand behind her. He rubbed her lower back. “I’m so sorry about Mama J, honey.”
“Thank you.” He could see her reflection in the glass, and she remained dry-eyed as she said, “I went to visit her last night. She was tired, but she was good. You know? She was Mama J. She knew who I was, and she knew I was upset. She comforted me, gave me advice, and t-t-told me she l-l-loved me.”
Her small body was beginning to shake. Luke wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her against his chest as her face crumpled, and she made a wailing cry that hurt his heart. He turned her and lifted her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and buried her face in his neck as she sobbed brokenly. He carried her to the bed, and she clung to him and continued to cry as he lay on the bed. He rubbed her back and whispered meaningless words of comfort as she cried. Almost half an hour later, her sobs had become the occasional watery sniffle.
“Better?” he asked.
She nodded and gave him a desperate look of need before resting her head on his chest. “I’m sorry. Please don’t leave me.”
“I won’t,” he said. “Go to sleep, honey.”
* * *
Jane stared at the ceiling as the beams of light from the rising sun shone into the bedroom. Luke was snoring quietly, and she resisted the urge to study his face in the dim light. She had only slept a few hours before waking. She’d spent the rest of the night thinking about Mama J and trying not to dwell on the bad memories. She wanted only to remember the good things, and she knew Mama J would want that, too.
She eased her body away from Luke’s. She needed to make funeral arrangements for Mama J. Panic bit at her insides. Funerals were expensive, and her little nest egg wouldn’t be nearly enough no matter how cheaply she tried to do the funeral.
She cringed and wished bitterly that she could afford to give Mama J the funeral she deserved. She wiped at the tears threatening to fall and sat up before reaching for her phone. She stared blankly at it for a moment. What did she want her phone for again?
She was tired and sad and wanted to curl up against Luke’s warm body and think about nothing. She snuck a glance at him. His face was relaxed in sleep, and she ignored her urge to run her fingers through his dark hair. God, she loved him so much.
He loves you too, Janie. He’s with you now, isn’t he?
Yeah, he was. She didn’t know why, but she assumed it was because he felt sorry for her and was maybe worried that she would kill herself like her mother did because he broke her heart and Mama J died. When he woke up, and she assured him that she wasn’t suicidal, he’d leave, and she’d be alone.
The thought sent despair through her, and she fought back the tears again before staring at her phone. She needed to make funeral arrangements. She would keep herself busy and not think about how much it hurt not to have Luke or Mama J. She would plan Mama J’s funeral and…right, money. It was expensive, and she needed to get another job. She was pretty sure that funeral homes had payment plans, but she would need a second job to make the monthly payments.
