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Jane smiled at her. She had visited but wasn’t surprised Mama J didn’t remember. “I’m sorry. I was a little busy last night.”
“Of course you were,” Mama J said. “You have a new boyfriend. How is he? Did you bring him to visit me?”
Jane froze. She hadn’t expected Mama J to remember Luke without seeing him, and a sharp pain stabbed her in the chest. She had kept her emotions under control today – it had helped that she was on a different floor and didn’t have to worry about running into Luke – but she was suddenly very close to crying. Luke had been so kind and sweet to Mama J, and knowing that she would never see that side of him again made her want to burst into tears.
“Janie?” Mama J touched her hand, and Jane began to cry at the look of love and sympathy on her face.
“Oh, my Janie.” Mama J shifted over in the bed and patted the space. “Climb into bed with me, sweetheart. Come on now.”
Crying loudly, Janie climbed into the bed next to Mama J and buried her face in her throat. She clung to her foster mother as Mama J stroked her hair and murmured soft words of comfort.
After a while, her sobbing eased to the occasional sniff, and she took the tissue Mama J handed to her. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose before resting her head on Mama J’s thin chest.
“Better, Janie?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Did you and your man fight?”
“Yeah. He’s angry with me over something I did in the past.”
Mama J snorted. “Men can be so foolish about things sometimes. He’ll come around, Janie, I promise you.”
“I don’t think he will,” Jane said.
“He will. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He loves you.”
Jane didn’t reply, and Mama J put one finger under her chin and tipped her face up. “He loves you. He looks at you like Walter looked at me, and if there was one thing I knew for certain about my Walter, he loved me.”
“I wish I could have met him,” Jane said.
“Me too. He would have loved you.” Mama J stroked Jane’s hair as Jane rested her head on her chest again.
“Listen, sweetheart, your man will realize the error of his ways and return to you begging for your forgiveness. I guarantee it. I know I’m old and getting forgetful, but I haven’t forgotten what I’ve learned about relationships. Will you take a bit of advice?”
“Yes,” Jane said.
“When he comes around asking for forgiveness, don’t make him grovel too much. It can be hard for some men to admit when they’re wrong. If he says he’s sorry and asks for your forgiveness, give it to him without fuss. Love grows sweeter when you forgive easily. All right?”
“Okay,” Jane said. It was easy to tell Mama J what she wanted to hear. Luke would never ask for her forgiveness. She had fooled herself into thinking that he might care for her despite who she was and what she had done. Men like Luke didn’t fall for women like her.
“That’s my good girl, Janie.” Mama J ran her fingers through Jane’s soft hair. “Don’t tell my other kids this, but you were always my favourite. I remember the first day I met you. The last few years had been difficult for you – your social worker had told me all about it – but I could see the goodness and the sweetness on your face. I knew you were something special right away.”
Jane smiled at her. “I’m not the special one. You are. You saved my life, and I will never be able to repay you for that.”
Mama J kissed her forehead. “I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you too, Mama J,” Jane said. “Always.”
* * *
Luke leaned back in his chair and rubbed at his eyes. They were burning and itching from lack of sleep, and he stared blearily at his watch. It was the longest goddamn Friday of his life, and he wanted to get the hell out of the office and go home. He planned on spending the weekend getting very drunk. Maybe then he would sleep. Maybe then he would stop thinking that he’d made the biggest fucking mistake of his life.
He closed his eyes and then popped them open almost immediately. Fuck, would he ever have a moment where he closed his eyes and didn’t see Jane’s face? He had promised her that he would always take care of her, and instead, he’d ended it. God, the look of hurt and betrayal on her face when he had told her they were finished. It had nearly killed him.
So why did you end it? His inner voice complained. You miss Jane, I miss Jane – talk to her.
There was a knock on his office door, and Mark walked in. He sat in the chair across from him and stared at him.
