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“Don’t give up on your dream,” I murmur, kissing the tip of her nose. “If I’ve learned anything since you moved here, it’s that you have a tendency to make the impossible possible.”
She scrunches up her face like she’s thinking really hard and nods. “Okay. I’ll find a way.”
“But not alone,” I promise, hugging her. “We’ll figure it out together.”
“Together,” she echoes, and lifts up on the tips of her toes to kiss me.
It’s slow and a little awkward—I have a hard time knowing when a kiss should turn into a French kiss—but by the end, I’m left breathless.
Callie snuggles into my embrace and looks down at the etched marble at our feet. “It’s sad that we didn’t meet before, but if you weren’t haunting my room that first day, I don’t know if I would be as happy as I am right now.” She groans and buries her face against my chest. “That sounds awful, like I’m happy you died. I’m not. I’m just grateful for you and all that you continue to bring to my life.”
“I know,” I laugh, giving her an exaggerated squeeze and rocking her side to side. “We’re morbid, but not that morbid.”
“Speaking of, why did you want to spend your birthday morning at the graveyard instead of, I don’t know, going to get breakfast?” she asks with a raised brow.
“It’s time for me to say goodbye,” I answer, my chest tight over the thought of it. “If I’m going to give this new life a chance, I have to let the old one go.” My voice drops to a whisper. “But I don’t know how.”
She thinks for a moment, her hands making gentle trails up and down my spine. “Try talking to yourself. The old you, I mean.”
“And say what?” I ask, my tone curious.
“I don’t know,” she replies, poking me in the side. “Your regrets. What you’ll miss. Reassure old you that things are going to work out because they will work out. Even though you’ve taken a new path, you’re not alone.”
“Okay, okay!” I laugh, grabbing her hands and stepping out of our embrace before she can poke me again. Squatting down next to my old body’s final resting place, I tug some of the ambitious grass away from the plaque. “Hey… Felix?” I talk to inanimate objects all the time, so one would think this wouldn’t be weird, but it is.
I glance up at Callie, and she nods with encouragement, mouthing, “Keep going.”
Placing a hand against the sun-warmed stone, I continue, “It, uh, sucks that you died. There’s so much you’ll never experience—having Dad teach you to drive, Mom fussing over prom, going to MIT. Hell, your first kiss was as a ghost in your girlfriend’s dream.”
Callie covers her face and groans. “I didn’t know it was you you. Goddess, I can’t believe you saw all that.”
“The leather pants were a really nice touch,” I tease, smirking up at her. “And I’ll never look at chocolate sauce the same way again.”
“I will leave you here to walk home if you don’t get back to talking to yourself,” she grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest. “Wow, that sounds really odd out loud.”
“Context is everything.” I chuckle and then get back to the very difficult task of saying goodbye. “I know you thought your life was boring, but it wasn’t. It was safe and loving with the best parents anyone could have hoped for. You also didn’t know half the shit that was going on around you. Ignorance can be a blessing sometimes.” I clear my throat as it becomes harder to speak with the growing emotions building inside me. “But now you know, and because of that, you’re even closer with the guys. Silver lining, I guess. Death is usually the end of things, but for you, it’s both the end and the beginning. You also met the girl of your dreams—turns out it’s not Ashley Fisher.”
“Damn right it’s not,” Callie mumbles under her breath, flicking her hair over her shoulder.
I press my lips together to keep from laughing, which eases some of the sadness growing inside me. Looking up at her, I hold out my hand, and she takes it. “Not only is she the most amazing person you’ve ever met, but she also makes you a better person. You’re insanely lucky that she gave you the time of day when you haunted her bedroom, and you managed to get her to fall in love with you.”
Her smile grows, crinkling the corners of her eyes, and she squeezes my hand.
Not letting her go, I turn my attention back to the gravestone. “I’m sorry you and James had to die to give me this chance for a new life, but I promise to take care of it. The future may not be the way you expected it to be, but I’ll do my best to make it something you’d both be proud of.”
Brushing dirt from my hands, I rise and give old me a small farewell salute. I take a few steps to my parents’ graves, Callie trailing behind me. “Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. I know you’re not really here. You’re probably frolicking in afterlife paradise, but in case you can hear me, I want you to know that I’ll be okay. I still have the guys, and I have an awesome girlfriend you would totally love. Also, although they can never replace you, James’s family and friends are really good people.” My eyes begin to sting with tears, and it becomes harder to speak, my voice growing raspy. “I don’t want to hurt them any more than they already are, so I’m… I’m going to give us a chance to be a real family. I’ll never stop loving you, but I need… Fuck!” I use the heel of my hand to wipe the tears from my eyes. “I need to let you go.”
Callie wraps her arms around my waist, resting her head against my back. “From the stories you told me, they loved you very much. I’m sure they are glad to know you’re not alone, and that you have a new family who will love and care for you.”
I nod because it’s too hard to speak.
She plants a kiss on the middle of my back and then walks around me. Kneeling in front of my parents’ graves, she adjusts her pink, spring dress so it modestly surrounds her. “Hi, I’m the girlfriend.” She gives a small wave. “You’ll be happy to know that I love your son very much, and I promise to stick by him. We all wish you could be here, but I want you to know that you did a really good job raising Felix. He saved my life just by being himself. Every person he lets in his heart are better people because of it.” Placing her hand on the grass, she closes her eyes, and a gentle wind shakes the leaves of the surrounding trees. “Your son is a gift, and I’m sure the Thomas’s will see that. Please look after their son as they look after yours.” As if watching a time-lapse video on fast forward, wildflowers begin to bloom over my parents’ graves. She opens her eyes and gently runs her fingers over the new buds. “You won’t be forgotten.”
I help her to her feet, and while she brushes away bits of grass from her hands and knees, I murmur, “Thank you. My mom always liked wildflowers.”
Callie smiles sweetly and takes my hand, our fingers lacing together. “It’s okay to keep both your parents and the Thomas’s in your heart. It’s not a betrayal of either. Love isn’t finite.”
My head bobs up and down, acknowledging that I understand. “Think we’ve been away long enough for the party to be set up?”
