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“Thanks,” he mumbles with an awkward smile.
When she scurries away, Felix chuckles. “Well, she’s not wrong. My face is new.”
“To you, anyway,” Nolan jokes while taking a sip of his water.
An odd expression takes over Felix’s features, like he’s feeling too many different things at the same time.
Before I can ask him if he’s alright, Donovan is back on Kaleb. “So what the hell is it? Why are you holding back when you clearly want to be with Callie?”
Kaleb’s fists tighten as he stares down at the white tablecloth. His posture is tense, like it’s taking everything inside him not to bolt out the door.
Despite how much I hate this limbo between us, I can’t take another moment of Kaleb having to defend himself. “No, we’re not doing this,” I insist, getting up from my seat. Everyone’s eyes follow me as I move around the table and stop next to Kaleb’s chair. “I’m sorry it bothers you, and I know you’re only trying to help, but our dating status is not up for discussion.” Reaching for his forearm, I give him a gentle tug. “How about we get some air?”
It hurts how surprised Kaleb looks that someone stood up for him. I’m reminded of all the times when I should have spoken up but was too scared, too worried how much it would expose my inner scars that I wasn’t quite ready to share.
“Air would be good,” he murmurs, following my lead and getting out of his seat.
As we weave our way around tables toward the front door, his hand clasped in mine, both Felix and Nolan lay into Donovan.
“What did I say about pressuring him?” Felix grinds out through clenched teeth.
“I asked him what his problem was so we can finally fix that shit,” Donovan defends himself. “That’s not pressuring him to say yes.”
“Some things aren’t your job to fix,” Nolan counters. “We have to figure out some things ourselves.”
“Fuck that,” Donovan states stubbornly. “Any time one of us is left to figure our shit out alone, it always ends badly.”
A weighted silence answers his statement before Connor murmurs something I’m too far away to hear.
When Kaleb and I reach the front door, I mumble something about being right back to the hostess before escaping into the cool night air. Unfortunately, now that we’re outside, I have no idea where to go or what to say. Main Street is made up of a long strip of small shops and restaurants, and there really isn’t a good place to sit and talk.
Kaleb notices my indecision and suggests, “How about we walk for a bit?”
“Yeah, sure,” I reply, tucking some of my loose hair behind my ear.
My mouth is dry, and my stomach is in knots as we walk quietly hand in hand down the wide sidewalk. Planters with tall, bushy trees dot the walkway, casting thick shadows under the brilliant light of the streetlamps. Cars crawl down the busy main throughway, most of them hunting for parking. There isn’t a lot to do in Twin Cedar Pass on a Saturday night, so it’s no surprise to see so much of the town here looking for food and entertainment. We get a few waves and hellos from those who recognize Kaleb, but for the most part, we are left to wander on our own.
“I’m sorry,” I finally blurt, unable to handle the silence.
He looks at me with a curious frown. “For what?”
“For all of it.” I make a vague circular gesture with my free hand. “If I hadn’t met and fallen in love with all of you, or at least kept my mouth shut about it, then you all wouldn’t be fighting.”
Kaleb stops and spins me until my back is against one of the trees. His gaze is intense and consuming as he looks into mine. “Never apologize for coming here and becoming a part of us. Yes, you complicate things, but you also add so much. Felix wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. Nolan wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. Connor would still be suffering under the old alpha’s hand if it wasn’t for you. Donovan would still be hell-bent on a suicide mission to avenge his family after graduation if you hadn’t given him a reason to hope for more. Their lives are better because you’re a part of it.”
“And you?” I whisper, my heart aching in my chest. “Have I done anything except make your life harder?”
He steps forward until we’re so close, I can feel the heat radiating from his body. Placing my hand flat against his chest and covering it with his own, he murmurs, “Columba mea, you… you make me want to find myself, to discover who I am when I’m not trying to please everyone else.” He touches my face with his other hand. “You make me want to reach for things I would otherwise deny myself.”
My next words come out breathless as heat floods my veins, and my whole body throbs with the need to feel him all around me. “Like what?”
“A future I choose instead of one that’s chosen for me.” His hand slips from my face to the nape of my neck, and he leans forward until our lips are only millimeters apart. “To follow a path that could end with a shattered heart, because I can’t stand the idea of never tasting your mouth ever again.”
“I would never intentionally hurt you,” I promise, fighting to hold still and not close the tension-filled gap between us. I want him so badly it burns, but I won’t force it. He has to make the decision.
Kaleb brushes his nose against mine. “I know. Despite all you’ve seen and experienced, it’s not in your nature to be cruel.” His fingers slide from my neck down my spine over the fabric of my sweater dress, and shivers explode like fireworks all over my heated flesh. “But you have the others to think of too, and like I said before, I’m not like the others. The parts of me that I lock away aren’t easy to love or manage.”
“None of us are easy,” I respond, my voice filled with the love and tenderness I feel for him. “People are complicated, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t worth it. Loving you is worth navigating every storm.”
