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My arms flop beside me as I stare up at the ceiling, trying to absorb everything. The farthest I’ve gone is kissing, and that’s only been recently, whereas my body has been hot and heavy with three different people! It wasn’t my body at the time, so it shouldn’t matter, but I’m having a hard time convincing myself of that fact. Nolan is the one that bothers me the most, though I appreciate all the weird feelings when I’ve been around him making sense now.
Dave clears his throat and stretches his legs out beside me. “So your girlfriend can date multiple dudes… Does that mean you can date other people?”
“I don’t know,” I answer distractedly, still piecing together what James’s past means for me in the present. “Hasn’t really come up.”
“It seems only fair that you could,” he comments, his voice overly casual.
I turn my head again so I can squint over at him. “Why?”
He opens his mouth, hesitates for a second, and then shrugs dismissively. “No reason. Just curious.”
It’s obvious there is more to it, but I don’t know him well enough to figure out what it is. Choosing not to pry, I shift to look up at the ceiling again and rest my hands on my stomach. “Knowing Callie, I don’t think she’d say I can’t date anyone else. It’s not her style. It hasn’t come up because I only want her.”
“Not even Campbell?” Dave asks in a tone that hints at more than casual interest.
I think about what I’ve experienced since coming back—the weird feelings and growing awareness of Nolan that I’ve never really experienced before. “I can’t say I’m not attracted to him…” I push away the thoughts of how good he smells or how great he looks and try to imagine holding Nolan’s hand at the movies or cuddling up with him on the couch. It doesn’t really do much for me. “But I don’t have romantic feelings for him.” It’s the first time I’ve admitted to any of this, and something eases inside me with this revelation. “My heart belongs completely to Callie.”
Dave pulls his legs up to his chest and wraps his arms around his knees. “Completely, huh? That fast?”
“When you know, you know,” I answer simply.
“Well, I guess that hasn’t changed,” he comments with what sounds like a sigh of disappointment. “You’ve always been an all-in kind of guy.”
We’re both quiet, lost in our thoughts, as the video game menu music plays in the background. It’s kind of nice actually. The guys have been my best friends pretty much forever, but with so much changing around us, it’s kind of nice to talk about some of this stuff with someone who isn’t as entrenched in it all.
“I’m sorry I avoided you for so long,” I state, breaking the silence.
“I get it,” Dave replies, sliding to the edge of the bed and putting his feet on the floor. “You don’t know me. I’m no one to you.”
As he tries to stand, I sit up quickly and grab his wrist. “Just because I don’t have his memories doesn’t mean you’re no one to me. You’re clearly someone, or I wouldn’t have been so weird about it.”
He looks at my hand with an intense expression, but he doesn’t pull away. “Okay, I’m someone, but that makes it worse, right? That’s why you’ve been avoiding all of your old friends.”
“Yes, it is, but…” I release a frustrated breath. “Look, I’m sorry for how I’ve acted for the past several months. It was a dick move. You were hurting, and I didn’t know how to handle that.” He doesn’t appear like he’s planning a quick escape, so I let him go. Rubbing the back of my neck, I speak the next bit to the space between my feet. “I know I don’t deserve it, and I know I’m not him—your James—but I was hoping, maybe, we could be friends. If not, I totally get it. Hanging out with me is probably really hard too, knowing what you know now and—”
He interrupts my continuous stream of babble with a hand on my shoulder. “Yeah, we can be friends, but I want something first.”
My gaze goes from his hand to his face, and a frown forms on my brow when I notice an amused glint in his eye. “What do you want?”
He smiles. “A kiss.”
“A what?” I stammer, jolting to my feet. “But I just told you, I’m with Callie. That’s cheating!”
“Then call and ask her first,” Dave replies, leaning against my dresser. “I promise, it’s just this once.”
“Are you saying that if I don’t kiss you, you won’t be my friend?” I clarify, my heartbeat rattling loudly in my ears.
“I need to see something first,” he answers, his smile falling as his gaze sweeps over my face. “Call your girlfriend.”
Unsure why I’m going along with his request, I take my phone from my pocket and make the call. It rings several times before I hear a breathless, “Hey, Casper. I was just thinking of you. I wish you were here. It’s not fair—”
“I’m here with Dave,” I announce loudly before she can say anything no other human should hear. The last thing I need is for both our memories to be wiped. “He, um, wants me to ask you something.”
“Oh? What’s that?” she asks, the sounds of demolition going on in the background.
“He-wants-permission-to-kiss-me,” I answer as one word, again not sure why I’m not just telling him no.
There’s a long pause before she replies slowly, “Do you want to kiss Dave?”
