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‘Because that kid was a nobody, and a born loser,’ he said, flatly.
‘Oh, Roman.’ She cupped his cheek, traced the line of his lips. He bit into her thumb, suddenly needing the sexual heat to ease the tension in his gut. But while her expression darkened, the sympathy didn’t budge.
‘Why would you think that?’ she asked. ‘No one’s born a loser. And certainly not you.’
‘You think?’ he said, then rolled off her and flopped onto his back. He stared at the ceiling fan, of the villa he’d rebuilt, felt the warm breeze from the cove he owned, and the whisper of afterglow still lodged in his gut from the best sex of his life, which he’d indulged in to his heart’s content for seven days straight...
‘You really wanna know? I’ll tell you exactly why that kid was such a loser...’ he said as the resentment surged all over again.
Because he couldn’t destroy the feeling that there was something he needed, something he wanted, but something he could never have.
‘My old man didn’t want me,’ he confessed, the old bitterness curdling in his stomach.
Of course, his half-brother hadn’t wanted him either, but he had no intention of cluing her in to the identity of the legacy he’d fought so hard for, or she would know exactly how pathetic he had once been—because begging Brandon Cade for a job as a clueless kid had definitely been his lowest point.
‘How do you know that?’ Milly asked, her incredulous voice tempting him away from the bitterest memory of his adolescence.
He glanced her way, and the weight in his gut twisted. Damn, she really was clueless about how the world worked. Even if her own father had rejected her, too. Perhaps it was time to set her straight, and tell her the whole sordid story, so he could lift this weight once and for all.
‘My mum became his mistress when she was still a teenager.’ He shrugged. ‘Eventually, he got her pregnant. He was furious and gave her the money to get rid of the problem.’ If he told her the shame he had lived with for so long, the truth would have no power over him any more. ‘But she wouldn’t have a termination—because she had some stupid idea she loved him and if she had his child, he would marry her. She was pretty naïve about men. So, of course, he dumped her and she was left destitute, with a kid she couldn’t afford, and eventually couldn’t cope with.’ Because he’d taken so much of his anger and resentment out on her. ‘If that’s not being born a loser. I don’t know what is.’
‘It sounds to me like your father was the loser. Not you,’ Milly said softly, feeling sick at what Roman had told her. And the way in which he’d said it, as if he were talking about another person. In another life. She supposed, in some ways, he was.
She understood now, where his drive and ambition came from.
He turned to stare at her, but then his lips curved in the cynical smile she remembered from when they had first met, but she hadn’t seen in a while.
‘He wasn’t my father...he was just a sperm donor. I never even met the guy.’
‘How can you be sure, then, that he wanted your mother to get an abortion?’ she asked, her heart breaking for the child who had been led to believe he didn’t matter.
‘Because my mum told me,’ he said simply, as if it weren’t a big deal.
Milly stared at him, horrified. ‘But that’s... That’s dreadful. She shouldn’t have done that.’
The cynical smile spread, becoming almost pitying. And her heart broke even more, not just for the boy he’d been, but also for the man. She already knew he didn’t believe in love. Because he’d said as much when they’d embarked on this two-week fling. But it seemed his cynicism was more ingrained than she’d realised.
‘Why shouldn’t she have, when it was the truth?’ he asked.
‘Because no child should be told something like that,’ she said, disturbed by how easily he had accepted his mother’s actions—and she suspected internalised that hurt. Or how could he seem so blasé about it now?
‘You don’t know what a pain in the backside I was as a kid,’ he said ruefully. ‘I resented how we had to live, the guys she would bring home to keep her company. I bunked off school, got into trouble with the law when I was still barely a teenager... I made her life hell. And she was sick of it. I guess she wanted me to know what she had given up to have me...’
‘That’s beside the point,’ she cut in, imagining him as a child, and how the rough upbringing he had described must have limited his opportunities. How had he triumphed over that?
‘My dad left us when Lacey and I were still little,’ she said. ‘And he never wanted visitation rights. Because he was only interested in his new family. But my mother went out of her way to let us know that his actions had no bearing on who we were, or what we did. I think it’s a shame your mother made you think that circumstances that occurred before you were even born were somehow your fault.’
He tucked a knuckle under her chin, drew her face up to his. ‘That’s cute,’ he murmured, the mocking tone deliberate, but the cynicism had lost that hard edge when he added, ‘But you don’t have to defend that little bastard. Because he doesn’t exist any more.’
Except he does, she thought as he pressed his lips to hers. The kiss went from casual to carnal in a heartbeat, as the passion flared anew. But as he caressed her in ways he knew would drive her wild, and the intoxicating sensation spread, emotion wrapped around her ribs and squeezed.
She cradled his cheeks, drew his face to hers. But in those deep green eyes she could still see the wary tension alongside the fierce desire.
The boy was still there, inside the man. Scared to love, scared to be vulnerable, because he had once been told he didn’t matter, by someone who should have protected him—the way her mother had always protected her.
She clung onto that thought as they made love again. And afterwards, as Roman slept beside her, his face relaxed in sleep, she knew she would be wrong to believe she could change him. She couldn’t undo his past, nor could she make this relationship last, but at the same time she wanted him to know he mattered to her. And he always would.
He’d given her the opportunity to find herself and her passion—not just for her art, but also for her future—in this brief interlude... She was so much more optimistic now about her goals, and her ability to achieve them, but she was also so much more confident now about who she was as a woman. And he’d given her all that.
